Weekly Rundown: 16th – 20th March 2009
Raw 16/03/2009
ECW 17/03/2009
Smackdown 20/03/2009
The Raw Review - 16/03/2009
Before this week’s Raw began a package played showing what happened in the contract signing last week. As a result Edge will face Cena tonight with Vikki as the special referee. There will also be an update on the Triple H/Orton situation and possibly (although highly unlikely) a match between Jericho and WWE Legend Ric Flair.
Opening Match
Shawn Michaels & The Undertaker Vs. JBL & Vladimir Kozlov
I assume this is the favour Vikki told JBL he owed her last week, although I can’t see what she’s getting out of it, so perhaps not.
HBK and Taker started off their partnership very tentatively, looking wary of each other but at the same time, making fluid tags and bossing the match. In fact it looked like this one could have been over early when Michaels hit the big elbow from the top rope and looked to be setting JBL up for the Sweet Chin Music, but Kozlov provided enough of a distraction to prevent this happening, then tagged in and began to dominate the match for his team.
This domination continued for a while until HBK managed to reverse an attempted chokeslam into a DDT and tag in The Undertaker, who instantly turned the match in his teams favour.
HBK showed his arrogant side at the conclusion of this match; Just as Undertaker had done all the hard work and signalled for his signature Chokeslam to end the match, Shawn tagged himself in and hit JBL with a Sweet Chin Music to pick up the three.
It didn’t stop there however as after he had high-tailed it to the back, he re-emerged to hit another Sweet Chin Music on Taker at the top of the ramp.
Shawn Michaels & The Undertaker win by Pinfall.
Segment 1
Edge and Vikki
Vikki begins apologising, in fact almost grovelling to Edge backstage, before he stopped her and told him that he forgives her. She then went on to pin the blame on The Big Show, claiming he practically forced her and she had no choice because everything about The Big Show is ‘Big’.
Edge told her that Show had used her to get what he wanted and it had worked, but he didn’t really blame him as he can understand his motivation. He actually blames Cena for letting the cat out of the bag and embarrassing them both, and tonight he plans to take it out on him.
Vikki wrapped up by saying that she hopes Edge wins at Mania and that if Cena so much as touches her tonight he is out of the title match all together.
After yet another video package of the Orton interview and subsequent attack from Triple H is played Todd Grisham asked Orton (with Legacy) why he decided not to press charges against The Game.
Orton said Triple H is a homicidal maniac, he scared the hell out of the T.V crew, terrorised the neighbourhood and traumatised his wife. He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, trespassing, breaking and entering and aggravated assault, and had he gone to prison he would have paid his debt to society, but wouldn’t have paid his debt to Orton.
He then confirmed that this debt would be paid at WrestleMania under ‘Orton’s Law’, and his debt would be losing his World Heavyweight Championship.
Match 2
Beth Phoenix, Layla & Jillian Hall Vs. Melina, Mickey James & Kelly Kelly
Santino joined the commentary team for this one, so it was sure to be entertaining regardless of what goes on in the ring.
Amongst other things Santino chatted about the untidy state of the Diva’s dressing room, Beth guest presenting his online show ‘The Casa’, the Miss WrestleMania match and he and the King’s love of beautiful women.
Nothing of interest happened in the match until the death, when Santino attempted to get involved, only to be dealt a low blow from Mickey James. Phoenix attempted to drag James into the ring in order to exact some revenge, but in doing so took her eyes of Melina who rolled The Glamazon up to grab the win.
Melina, Mickey James & Kelly Kelly win by Pinfall.
Match 3
Triple H Vs. Cody Rhodes
So after ‘posting bail’ here we have Triple H back on Raw. Seems a little far fetched to me, but I’m looking forward to seeing The Game squash Cody so I’ll not complain.
After Rhodes had walked to the ring alone it seemed we might have a fair fight here, but before he had even stepped through the ropes Orton’s music had hit the speakers and the other two members of Legacy had appeared on the ramp.
After throwing Cody over the announce table Triple H grabbed a Sledgehammer from under the ring and stood off the other two members, before hitting Rhodes with a Pedigree then signalling to the heavens.
Suddenly a cage began to descend and Triple H made sure it was just him and Cody in there. With the door locked Orton and DiBiase could do nothing but stand and watch as the match officially started and Triple H began to destroy their stablemate.
Every time one of them tried to scale the cage Triple H would throw the battered body of Rhodes at them, or swing for them with the Sledgehammer. Finally, in a very deliberate and methodical way Triple H drilled Cody in the head with the Sledgehammer right in front of Orton and picked up the win by pinfall.
More a segment than a match, but absolutely brilliant whichever way you look at it! One down, Two to go for The Game.
Triple H wins by Pinfall.
Match 4
Rey Mysterio Vs. Dolph Ziggler
Michael Cole informed us all that Rey would be back on Smackdown for its 500th episode, I’m not sure if this is meant to be big news, given that people are jumping between brands like no-body’s business at the minute, but I’m sure that this week’s Smackdown will be something special.
I like Ziggler, he reminds me of a young Mr Perfect, but so far I don’t think he’s been used as well as he could have been, and this match was a prime example of that. Instead of being fodder in a barely 2 minute long match with Mysterio, he could easily be an upper-mid card to main event heel on Smackdown, if his character was allowed to develop past spouting the line ‘Hi, I’m Dolph Ziggler’ and shaking hands.
Despite showing promise early on, Ziggler quickly lost momentum and Rey picked up the win with a 619/top rope splash in a very short match.
Rey Mysterio wins by Pinfall.
Segment 2
Ric Flair Vs. Chris Jericho (didn’t happen)
Jericho came to the ring in his wrestling gear and explained why he had challenged The Nature Boy, then delivered the same promo he’s been doing since he started this feud, saying Flair craves one last moment in the spotlight.
Flair came out in his street clothes and said although he knows he can beat Jericho, and is still ‘The Man’, he wouldn’t tarnish the great send off he got a year ago and won’t be coming out of retirement. Finally he said although he wouldn’t wrestle, he had found some people who would, before introducing Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka, Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat and Rowdy Roddy Piper. A little scuffle ensued before Jericho attempted to run and caught a stiff right hand from Flair.
After the break Todd Grisham asked Jericho about what happened and if he was embarrassed. Jericho asked why he should be embarrassed that 4 men attacked him, before deciding to challenge Snuka, Steamboat and Piper to a 3 on 1 match at WrestleMania, with Flair in the Legends corner and Mickey Rourke in the front row.
Oh joy, that’ll be one to look forward to. Sarcasm fully intended.
Match 5
Kane, Mark Henry & Shelton Benjamin (w/Tony Atlas) Vs. Kofi Kingston, C.M Punk & M.V.P
Christian, Finlay and Hornswaggle joined the commentary team for this one, meaning all 8 entrants in the Money in the Bank match were somehow involved in this one. Hornswaggle constantly laughed and grunted inanely while Finlay claimed that had he been in the match he would have turned on his partners in order to inflict some damage on them before WrestleMania.
Christian began explaining that he had returned to the WWE to win a World Title and that is exactly what he plans to do, he then called Hornswaggle a ‘doughy little freak’ as Finlay’s son continued to disrespect him with hand gestures.
The match broke down towards the end and despite M.V.P botching the finish by completely failing to make contact when trying to hang Shelton Benjamin up over the top rope, C.M Punk recovered the situation to deliver a GTS and win the match for his team.
There was too much going on outside the ring to really focus on the wrestling with this one.
C.M Punk, M.V.P & Kofi Kingston win by Pinfall.
Segment 3
Missing Segment
Apparently at some point around here The Big Show and Vikki had a little meeting in which Show kissed her, said Edge was only with her for the power she had and told her she looked sexy in her referee’s outfit. I’m not sure if there was a problem with the transmission, but this segment never actually aired on the version of Raw I saw and there was an overly long ad-break, I pieced this information together from the commentary in the upcoming Main Event.
Segment 4
So that’s how he did it
After a complete rundown of the nights events from Michael Cole and The King, Todd Grisham chased Triple H as he left the arena and asked him how he got Vikki Guererro to co-operate and lower the cage earlier in the show.
Triple H refused to say a word, although we had the answer moments later as he got into his car with his wife; Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
Main Event Match
John Cena Vs. Edge (with Vikki Guererro as the Special Referee)
Michael Cole clarified for us early in this one that if Cena so much as touches Vikki accidentally, he is out of the Mania main event. No doubt this will be full of ‘near misses’.
Early on Cena went for a pinfall and Vikki made her intentions known by flat out refusing to count. While Cena confronted her about it Edge had time to recover and took charge of the match, attacking his opponent from behind, then throwing him out of the ring and into various ringside objects including the steel steps.
After Cena managed to drag himself back into the ring he dodged an attempted Spear from Edge and then regained momentum. Just as he went for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle Vikki threw herself on top of her fallen husband to protect him, then pulled him from Cena’s shoulders as he went for the Attitude Adjustment and finally locked on a headlock when he went for the STF.
The Big Show then emerged and a 2 on 1 situation ensued, before the pair of them tied Cena up in the ropes and delivered more punishment including some slaps from Vikki. Edge then broke the alliance, Spearing Show and celebrating as the show went off the air.
The match ended in a No Contest.
The ‘St. Patricks Day’ ECW Digest – 17/03/2009
Before the title music plays Finlay and Hornswaggle are shown arriving at the arena and meeting with Teddy Long. Teddy, who is decked out in his St. Patricks day finest for tonight’s show, asked Finlay why the two were late to arrive, to which Finlay replied they had been celebrating. Hornswaggle then vanished and Finlay informed Long that they were in trouble, while beaming from ear to ear.
Tonight we can look forward to a live dirt sheet segment… I can hardly contain myself.
Opening Match
Christian & M.V.P Vs. Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas)
Another bout hyping the Money in the Bank match, but a rather strange choice for an opener in my opinion. Christian was main event-ing this show a few weeks back, now he’s opening, not to mention the star power of M.V.P and Shelton being brought over from Smackdown.
In actual fact this one was a lot duller than it should have been, with a lot of the match being slowed down substantially by Henry and Shelton, who methodically picked apart M.V.P. The action picked up briefly when Christian managed to get the tag and take the fight to Shelton, re-kindling the crowds interest.
Christian and M.V.P worked well as a team to take Henry and then Tony Atlas out of the match, however in doing so Christian turned his back on Shelton, who had recovered enough to hit Paydirt and snatch the 3 count.
We also found out in this match that the move Christian has been hitting since he returned, where he lays back on the middle rope and uses this momentum to kick his opponent in the head, is called ‘The Fulcrum Prison Blues’ which is a play on Jonny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues (as Matt Striker explained), but is also using the word Fulcrum in terms of a pivot in a lever.
Now I don’t want to make assumptions about ECW’s key demographic, but I’m willing to bet not many fans (me included at first) picked up on that one, something simpler might have been a better idea.
Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry win by Pinfall.
Segment 1
Finlay searches for Hornswaggle
In a segment that will no doubt be a running theme through the night, Finlay hunts backstage for Hornswaggle, who has made a break for it.
Here he interrupted D.J Gabriel and Alecia Fox who were enjoying a dance backstage. They told him that they hadn’t seen the little leprechaun and resumed their bumping and grinding as Finlay walked away.
Striker then informed us of the upcoming return of Evan Bourne.
Match 2
Jamie Noble Vs. Evan Bourne
Bourne has been out for about 5 months now after tearing a section of his ankle, but despite this he looked pretty fresh in this one.
Despite Mike Knox being responsible (at least on screen) for Bourne’s prolonged injury, there doesn’t seem to be any urgency in progressing down the Bourne Vs. Knox route, instead Tyson Kidd was shown a few times watching the match backstage.
The match itself was pretty much a squash for Bourne, who showcased his fitness, delivered some of his unique offense and wrapped up the match with a Shooting Star Press.
Kidd Vs. Bourne should be a good potential rivalry as both are quite similar in style, so provided they can gel it should produce some matches and highlight reel moments.
Evan Bourne wins by Pinfall.
Segment 2
Finlay’s hunt (part 2), Swagger Promo and Diva’s Night
This time Finlay manages to track down his sidekick, who is spraying Katie-Lee Burchill with a bottle of water and pelting her with various items of food. This time he manages to apprehend Hornswaggle, although whether he will hold on to him is another question.
After the break Tony Chimmel introduces the ECW Champion Jack Swagger, who stays atop the ramp and delivers possibly the most pointless promo I’ve ever seen. He says he didn’t compete last week (which we knew), he isn’t competing this week (which we would have figured out) and that he just wanted to give the fans a glimpse of the ECW Champion and 2 time All-American American.
After this Teddy Long speaks to who I assume is his assistant, who has come up with the idea of ‘Diva’s Night’. A full episode of ECW dedicated to the Diva’s of the WWE, in order to promote the 25 woman ‘Miss Wrestlemania’ match. As she is explaining the concept Paul and Katie-Lee Burchill burst in and demand Teddy do something about Hornswaggle. The G.M’s response was to put Burchill in a match with Finlay right after the break.
Main Event Match
Finlay (w/Hornswaggle) Vs. Paul Birchill (w/Katie-Lee)
It looks as though this will be our main event as the live episode of the Dirt Sheet will wrap up the show.
Although I’m a fan of Paul Birchill, and there was the underlying Englishman Vs. Irishman context, it was pretty obvious that Finlay was always going to win this one. A well wrestled match but that’s really all there is to say.
A very uneventful match in which Finlay grabbed the win with a Celtic Cross.
Finlay wins by Pinfall.
Segment 3
The LIVE Dirt-Sheet
After opening with a ‘fat Texans’ put-down, The Miz & John Morrison began to interview The Bella’s, asking why they had chosen to be with them over the Colon Brothers.
Twin A (Brie) failed to answer, whereas Twin B (the other one) quickly jumped in and claimed they had chosen them because they prefer to be associated with winners. A clip of M&M’s Tag Title defence on Smackdown played, then The Miz announced that Primo and Carlito would be tonight’s guests, before adorning their masks that resemble anuses with afro’s.
The real Primo and Carlito refused to stand for this and made their way to the ring, bringing the set of Carlito’s Cabanna with them. After telling their rivals that they looked better with the masks on, Carlito and Primo challenged The Miz and Morrison to a Tag Title Unification match at WrestleMania, which got accepted.
Following this Brie ended up with a face full of apple after its intended targets; The Miz and Morrison, moved out of the way. Nikki found this hilarious and a cat fight between the two ensued, with Nikki eventually leaving with M&M, and Brie staying with Carlito and Primo.
So now we have another big match added to the WrestleMania card, and this announcement (which I think we all knew was coming) made a pretty tedious ECW show worth watching.
The Smackdown ’500th Episode’Summary - 20/03/2009
“This Friday Smackdown celebrates its 500th episode. By accomplishing this in 10 years, Smackdown becomes the fastest weekly episodic to reach this milestone in U.S. primetime history.”
This little snippet of information, combined with the fact that I can clearly remember a time before Smackdown even existed, really makes me feel old.
Looks like we’re in for a pretty special tri-branded, main event packed episode tonight.
Opening Match
Triple H Vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Before the match Triple H delivered a promo about him and Steph being married. He said it’s probably the worst kept secret in WWE history and although they tried to keep it quiet for business reasons, he knows that everyone knew. So when Orton kicked Vince and Shane, although they were his family he kept out of it.
He went on to explain how hitting Steph with the RKO then hiding behind doctors, lawyers and a disease was a big mistake, and that at the 25th anniversary of Wrestlemania he will make him pay for it.
He wrapped up the segment by growling the words:
“You don’t have a disease, you are a disease… and I’m the cure!”
Kozlov then came to the ring, the match got underway and almost instantly cut to a commercial break. When we re-joined the show Triple H seemed to have the upper hand with a figure 4 locked in, although it didn’t take Kozlov to gain control of the match, locking The Game in a Bearhug and slowing the match down to a crawl.
After he broke free and delivered some stiff right hands, Triple H then hit the AA Spinebuster and a Pedigree to pick up the win and keep his momentum rolling on the way to WrestleMania.
Triple H wins by Pinfall.
Match 2
Shelton Benjamin (c) Vs. M.V.P for the United States Championship
The U.S. Title picture seems to have been on hold for a while, with Money in the Bank matters taking precedence over the past few weeks. I’m not sure if the crowd even remembered what the U.S. Championship was based on their reaction (or lack of one) at the beginning of the match.
I’m not sure if something had happened that we didn’t see on the broadcast, but the arena could have been empty there was so little noise from the crowd at the start of this one. They did gradually become more involved, popping briefly when M.V.P scored a near-fall, but the response was nothing like I would have expected for a title match, especially featuring two mid-card Superstars of this calibre.
I don’t usually notice crowd reactions, but this seemed so obvious that I thought it deserved a mention.
The conclusion of the match gave them something to cheer for, with M.V.P reversing an attempted finisher from Shelton and hitting one of his own to become the new U.S. Champion. A very solid bout and it’s always nice to see a title change hands when one Superstar has held it for a long while without any memorable defences.
M.V.P wins by Pinfall and becomes the NEW United States Champion.
Segment 1
Edge and Vikki
Backstage Vikki begins verbally attacking Edge for turning on Big Show at the end of Raw, and claims they could have destroyed Cena and effectively removed him from the Mania triple threat had they just continued to collaborate.
Edge cuts her off and basically says Show got what he deserved for sticking his nose in their business.
Match 3
Shawn Michaels Vs. Kane
Playing once again on the ‘Kane and Undertaker being brothers’ angle, Taker’s WrestleMania opponent tonight gets put through his paces by The Big Red Machine.
I’m willing to stake my brand new copy of Legends of WrestleMania (review coming soon) on Kane jobbing to Michaels in this one.
Kane dominated nearly all of this match with a combination of arm bars, stiff shots and kicks, only to be turned over at the death when HBK pulled a Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere to pick up the three count.
I suppose it was nice to see Kane lose to someone other than Rey Mysterio, I’d consider it somewhat of a step up for him.
Shawn Michaels wins by Pinfall.
Segment 2
Big Show and Vikki
Backstage again Vikki is joined by The Big Show, who she begged not to hurt Edge. Show said he hadn’t come out to the ring on Raw to help Edge, he’d come out to protect Vikki, and he couldn’t just walk away from being hit with the Spear. Vikki tried one more time but it did no good, with Show saying Edge deserves everything he gets before leaving.
It was then announced that Matt and Jeff will face each other in an Extreme Rules match at WrestleMania, glad they confirmed that one for us, I had began to wonder.
Match 4
Jeff Hardy Vs. ‘The’ Brian Kendrick (w/ Ezekiel Jackson) in an Extreme Rules Match
No doubt we will get a sample of what is to come at WrestleMania here, especially with Kendrick similar in style to the Hardys. Right from the get-go Jeff focused more on Jackson than he did on Kendrick, attacking him numerous times and then wearing him out with a chair, removing him from the remainder of the match.
Jeff failed to hit Kendrick with the same chair on a couple of occasions, so decided to change tack and rather than swinging the chair, opened it up and used it as a springboard before slamming Kendrick’s head into the seat multiple times.
Jeff ended the match shortly after this with a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb. Following this one it was announced that ‘The Von Erich Family’ are the next inductees into the Hall of Fame Class of 2009.
Jeff Hardy wins by Pinfall.
Main Event Match
The Undertaker Vs. JBL
Before this one began Taker delivered a short message to his WrestleMania opponent, saying that he is the hunter, and Shawn Michaels is his prey.
Matches between JBL and The Undertaker are nothing new, and even when they were for the Heavyweight Championship and tooled up with bizarre gimmicks like the ‘Last Ride Match’ they were never very interesting, so coming into this one I wasn’t expecting much.
Even by JBL’s standards this match was dull. Don’t get me wrong; I like Taker, I think JBL is great at promo’s and when put against someone quicker can be quite entertaining, but this match did nothing for me.
Taker tweaked one of his famed damaged knees, then spent the rest of the match battling away on one wheel while JBL did everything in his power to work on the injury.
Taker picked up the win and spared us all from any more of this match, by locking on ‘Devils Gate’. While we’re on the subject of the ‘Devils Gate’, I’m pretty sure it was never ‘made legal’ again after Vikki Guererro deemed it an illegal choke, but there you go.
The Undertaker wins by Pinfall.
Segment 3
Edge and The Big Show
To round off the show we’re treated to yet another chapter in the Edge/Big Show/Vikki/Cena story. Show kicked things off by calling out Edge and the two squared up before Vikki made her way to the ring in an attempt to form some kind of bond between the two.
She started off badly, claiming she loves them both, before declaring that the winner of the match at WrestleMania will not only claim the title, but will also win her heart. (If ever there was a match you’d hope to lose….)
Vikki forced Edge and Show into making a truce and shaking hands, before Cena appeared and said that when he wins he wants nothing to do with Guererro. Delivering the promo with his usual sense of slightly childish humour Cena said this was a terrible way to spend Smackdown’s 500th episode, and rather than making a truce the two of them should be ripping each other apart.
Things quickly deteriorated between Edge and Show and after some tussling Show accidentally shoved Vikki and Edge accidentally hit her with a Spear.
Just as it looked like it couldn’t get any worse for the General Manager Edge took The Big Show down by his legs as he attempted to carry her away, leading to yet another big bump.
Show then delivered a big Chokeslam and left carrying the seemingly unconscious Guererro to the backstage area as the show went off the air.
All in all not the spectacular event I expected it would be. There were no ‘history of Smackdown’ vignettes, most of the matches were either predictable, dull or both and ALL of the non-wrestling segments just served to give a very slight boost to the Edge/Show/Vikki love triangle. The one saving grace was the U.S. Title match between M.V.P and Shelton Benjamin, and possibly to a lesser extent the very brief Extreme Rules match.
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