The Smackdown Summary – 8th January 2010
08/01/2010
Hello and welcome the this edition of the Smackdown Summary.
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: The Animal’s Aggression
Match 1: Kane Vs. Dolph Ziggler
Segment 3: Jericho and the Dynasty
Match 2: R-Truth & Cryme Tyme Vs Jericho & The Hart Dynasty
Segment 4: Punk Brings Salvation
Match 3: Luke Gallows Vs. Matt Hardy
Segment 5: Maria the Apprentice
Match 4: Layla Vs. Michelle McCool
Segment 6: Drew McIntyre Interviewed
Main Event: Rey Mysterio Vs. Batista
The Smackdown Summary
Opening Segment
The Animal’s Aggression
After clips of last weeks Beat the Clock Challenge and subsequent announcement that Batista and Rey will meet tonight to determine a #1 contender for Taker’s World Heavyweight Championship, The Animal’s music hits and he makes his way out on to the staging.
He stops his music and demands a spotlight, before getting the music started again for the rest of his walk down the ramp.
Once there he says that although it’s a brand new year, nothing has changed.
Fans are still booing him, Teddy Long’s still screwing him (sadly he didn’t make it rhyme like I did) by not reprimanding Rey for getting involved in his Beat the Clock match last week.
He thanks Vickie for trying to make things right, but he wants an explanation from G.M, otherwise he won’t fight Rey tonight.
When Teddy doesn’t show Batista says he isn’t kidding and if Teddy doesn’t come out he’s walking, and taking everyone in the arena with him as they all paid to see him anyway.
Instead of Teddy’s music, Rey Mysterio’s music hits the speakers and the masked fluke artist makes his way out from the back.
Rey calls Batista a cry baby and said that all he did last week was return the favour from when The Animal got involved in his title shot against The Undertaker.
He says that he’s ready to fight tonight, but senses that Batista might be scared he’s going to lose again.
Rey then asks the crowd what they think, prompting Batista to accept the match and promise that not only will he win, he’ll make sure Rey doesn’t walk out of the arena tonight.
Man, Mysterio’s segments are getting almost as repetitive as his matches.
Match 1
Singles Match
Kane
Vs.
Dolph Ziggler
It looks like we might be getting that Ziggler Vs. Kane rivalry I mentioned last week, and I for one couldn’t be happier.
Ziggler made a name for himself on Smackdown by beating The Great Khali, or more accurately making a match involving The Great Khali watchable, so I’m more than confident that he and Kane can put on a good series of matches.
Kane started this one on the offensive, very nearly picking up the win within the first minute after making Ziggler taste his boot leather.
From there the match swung back and forth like a pendulum, with both men having numerous short spells of control until Kane hit the most devastating Big Boot I’ve ever seen and began to close in on the win.
However, as Kane went for the Chokeslam Ziggler reversed it twice and hit the ZigZag.
Somehow The Big Red Machine kicked out, but Ziggler maintained his advantage, locking on a Sleeper.
Kane managed to drag himself to the ropes, but for some reason the referee didn’t break the hold and both men tumbled to the outside.
Ziggler held the Sleeper to a count of 8, then released and slipped back into the ring, stealing a win by count out as Kane failed to clamber back up onto the apron in time.
A very good second match between the two and still we don’t really have a definitive result separating them.
Dolph Ziggler wins by Count Out.
Segment 2
Michelle Grovels
Backstage Lay-Cool catch up with Beth Phoenix, who they inadvertently cost the match last week.
After kissing Beth’s ass and saying they were only trying to help they reveal that they’ve got a new gift for Mickie James; a Piggy-trough filled with lettuce.
Beth tells them that they are unbelievable, which they take as a compliment.
Phoenix says that they shouldn’t be backstage playing games as Layla has a match with her later tonight, before storming off.
Michelle says that she will accompany Layla to the ring, but she’s glad it isn’t her who has to face The Glamazon.
Segment 3
Jericho and the Dynasty
Elsewhere Jericho is telling The Hart Dynasty about his ejection from Raw earlier on in the week.
He then says he respects how they ‘made an impact’ a few weeks ago by attacking ‘the biggest star on the brand’, so he isn’t annoyed, but he wants to know if they are going to continue making an impact tonight.
Natalya says they are more than ready to make an impact.
DH Smith says that what happened to Bret on Raw was an embarrassment, but it will never happen to them, and Kidd finishes by saying they are better than the best. Period.
Match 2
6 Man Tag Team Match
R-Truth & Cryme Tyme
Vs.
Chris Jericho & The Hart Dynasty (w/Natalya)
Oh for god’s sake, you have GOT to be kidding me.
When The Hart Dynasty put on a brilliant effort against DX I thought they’d finally done it. I thought they’d finally broken through the ‘Cryme Tyme’ glass ceiling and were destined for bigger and better things.
However it appears not.
And what’s worse is that now Chris Jericho has been dragged into this.
I love Jericho, always have, always will, but I couldn’t muster even so much as half hearted interest in this match.
The one saving grace was that Jericho picked up a long-overdue Walls of Jericho victory, and it was a proper Walls of Jericho too. Knee in the back/head, rather than the standard Boston Crab.
Chris Jericho & The Hart Dynasty win by Submission.
Segment 4
Punk Brings Salvation
As promised last week C.M Punk and his disciple Luke Gallows make their way to the ring tonight in order to ‘save’ someone in the crowd from themselves and turn them to the Straight Edge lifestyle.
Punk, carrying some sort of little wash-bag, starts by outlining what he said last week, then asked who wants to be saved.
Surprisingly not that many people seemed interested, although the person they (I assume) planted in the crowd seemed pretty eager.
Gallows goes into the crowd and ‘collects’ the chosen one, from here on known as James.
Punk tells him there is nothing to fear any more and although he might think he is hopelessly addicted to something, there is hope.
James takes a seat and Punk tells him what is about to happen will be the most important moment of his life.
He gets James to raise his hand and asks him if he is tired of living his life like all the rest of the losers in the audience, to which he answers yes.
Punk asks him if he is going to stop treating his body like a sewer, then shouts and tells him it isn’t good enough when he replies that he is going to try.
Punk eventually talks him into saying that he’s going to change and ‘just say no’ in the face of temptation.
Punk tells him that it’s easier said than done and actions speak louder than words, so before he becomes a full member of the ‘Straight Edge’ society there’s one thing that he needs to do.
Gallows opens the wash-bag and reveals some hair clippers, indicating that to be in this club you need to have your head shaved.
Punk says that it is a symbol of commitment and a clean slate for James, getting him to unconditionally accept Straight Edge into his life.
Punk then shaves his head, or at least the majority of it, then tells James he can confidently look in the mirror and know that he’s stronger than all the ‘pathetic sheep’ in the audience.
Punk introduces James as the latest member of the Straight Edge lifestyle and raises his hand.
This was garbage in comparison to other Punk promos, and would only be relevant if ‘James’ now becomes part of Punk’s faction, which I doubt will happen.
Match 3
Singles Match
Luke Gallows (w/C.M Punk)
Vs.
Matt Hardy
Anyone care to have a wager on how long Matt will hang around in the WWE now Jeff has shown up in TNA?
As much as I like Matt, I wouldn’t blame him for jumping if and when his contract comes up.
He’s ridiculously underused in the WWE and jobbing this match to Gallows just proves that.
I can’t remember the last time he held singles gold, or even got the chance to win some for that matter.
Jeff on the other hand I don’t understand.
Despite a complete lack of promo delivery skills he was given huge breaks during 2009, taking the WWE Championship from Edge and Punk while the likes of Jericho weren’t even considered in the title picture.
Then, after all that he decides to ‘take some time off’, only to spring up in TNA a few months later.
Anyway, Gallows win came after a distraction from Punk, making him victorious in his ‘first ever’ singles match.
Luke Gallows wins by Pinfall.
Segment 5
Maria the Apprentice
In case you hadn’t heard, Maria is one of the ‘celebrities’ (and I use the term lightly) lined up to take part in America’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice’.
Backstage Teddy tells her how happy he is that she has been chosen to appear on the show and he knows she will be a success.
Vickie enters and says that she’d have done the show but she’s just too busy advising for Smackdown.
After a bit of banter between Teddy and Vickie, Maria does some plugging for the new Mattel Superstars range, explaining how they are all sized independently, so Rey Mysterio is smaller than The Undertaker etc.
Teddy quips that he bets Vickie’s will be the biggest of all, then changes his mind when Khali enters.
Ranjin Singh is back everyone!
He tells Vickie that Khali can’t wait to get her action figure, then drops the bombshell that he thinks it’s the one that reminds him most of a cow.
Khali moo’s loudly in her face before leaving.
Match 4
Divas Match
Layla (w/Michelle McCool)
Vs.
Beth Phoenix
Layla tried her best to reason with Beth at the start of this match, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.
After getting dumped out of the ring quickly by The Glamazon Layla got a ‘helping hand’ back into the ring from Michelle.
Layla had limited success after a Dropkick to the knee, although moments later a Glam Slam ended the bout.
After the match Beth turned her attention to Michelle, who tried to make a peace until Layla recovered, then the two began to double team.
Just when it looked like Beth might be in trouble Mickie James hit the ring to make the save, before almost taking Beth’s head off with a little payback from last week.
Beth Phoenix wins by Pinfall.
Segment 6
Drew McIntyre Interviewed
Backstage Josh Mathews caught up with Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre.
After showing clips of the title match from last week Josh accused McIntyre of pushing Morrison into the referee.
McIntyre says that he definitively dominated Morrison last week and as a result he got incredibly frustrated, leading to the disqualification.
He says that he will be the first ever Intercontinental Champion to win the Royal Rumble, but before he can leave John Morrison enters.
Morrison questioned the claim that he was ‘dominated’, then attempted a number of times to goad McIntyre into a fight.
McIntyre told Morrison that he’s moving on to bigger and better things and the former champion just needs to accept that.
Morrison replied with a slap to the face and the pair of them brawled until officials separated them.
Main Event Match
World Heavyweight Championship #1 Contendership Match
Rey Mysterio
Vs.
Batista
So when I heard that Batista and Rey would be main eventing Smackdown this week, I didn’t really expect much.
Sure they put on pretty decent matches, and it’s always nice to see Rey get flattened a few times, even if he will invariably pop up with a 619 more often than not and steal a victory, but the idea didn’t make me think ‘man I need to tune into that next week!’
However, I didn’t expect things to be as bad as they actually were.
The match was actually pretty good, but the ending was a completely transparent attempt at building hype and a slap in the face to the people who were in attendance.
Basically just as Mysterio looked to be closing in on a win the lights went down, Taker’s gong sounded, and when they came back up both men were laying out on the canvas.
The lights went down a second time as Taker’s music began to play and flames shot up from the entrance ramp…
Then the show finished.
I assume the conversation between the writers went:
‘Ok, Taker’s not coming to the show tonight, what do we do?’
‘Turn the lights off and pretend that he’s there?’
‘Sorted! But, why would Taker attack Rey?’
‘Erm, I don’t know. Come on, it’s lunch time!’
It was just such a weak ending to what was actually quite a good match.
No doubt we’ll either see another #1 contendership match, or more likely a Triple Threat at the Rumble now.
Match ended in a No Contest.
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