The Raw Review – 31st May 2010
31/05/2010
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Quick Links
Segment 1: What the Hell is going on?
Match 1: R-Truth Vs. Chris Jericho
Match 2: Maryse & Regal Vs. Eve & Santino
Segment 4: Bret’s Big Announcement
Match 3: The Miz Vs. Daniel Bryan
Segment 6: The Uso Brothers & Tamina
Main Event: Cena & Orton Vs. Edge & Sheamus
The Raw Review
Segment 1
What the Hell is going on?
A bit of an impromptu start on Raw tonight, and I’m honestly not quite sure what happened.
Whether this segment should have been finished by start time, or whether it accidentally started early, or if this is exactly how it should have been I have no idea, but it left me feeling like I’d missed something.
As the cameras started rolling Edge and Evan Bourne were fighting in the ring, as if we’d just cut away for an ad break or something.
After a spirited but ultimately fruitless fight from Bourne, Edge grabbed a microphone and said that what just happened is symbolic of what he’ll do to his three opponents at Fatal 4 Way.
Apparently, according to Cole and King, Bourne came out to challenge Edge over his spot at Fatal 4 Way, or something like that.
Edge goes through the list of contenders, terming Cena a Superhero, Sheamus a Bulldozer before moving on to his current rival Randy Orton.
He accuses the crowd of hopping on the ‘RKO’ bandwagon and tells them not to be surprised when The Viper bites them too.
He says at Fatal 4 Way he’ll prove everyone wrong by becoming a 10-time WWE Champion.
Orton chooses this point to make his entrance, rather strangely wearing his ring gear.
Surely he’s not healed yet after what seemed to be such a serious injury at OTL?
Edge goads Orton, telling him that he’s not 100% because of what he did to him at OTL (or rather what he did to himself as he began firing up for the RKO, but Edge doesn’t mention that, surprisingly.)
Eventually Orton hits him with the RKO, then grasps his shoulder before climbing up the turnbuckle to pose for the crowd.
Well, that was all a bit random.
Segment 2
Punk’d?
Seriously, is Ashton Kutcher famous for anything other than Punk’d, That 70′s Show, being married to Demi Moore and making a slew of pretty average films? (yes, I liked ‘Dude, Where’s My Car’ at the time too. But honestly, in the cold light of day, it is pretty crappy)
I ask, because apparently he’s one of the most followed people on Twitter, despite not really doing anything to be THAT popular.
Maybe his stuff just hasn’t made it over here, I dunno.
Anyway, in this segment he whined to Eve about Zack Ryder ‘dissing’ him on Twitter and plugged what is sure to be yet another dismal movie in ‘Killers’.
As the film is about a hitman, he decided to put a ‘hit’ out on Ryder, saying that he’d hired ‘someone’ in the WWE to take him out, and it could be anyone from a referee to one of the announce team.
Kutcher summoned The Miz to his office and told him that Bret Hart had given Daniel Bryan a 1-night contract so that they can have a match.
Miz asked if he was supposed to be scared and the pair of them argued a little before Eve calmed the situation down.
Match 1
Singles Match
R-Truth
Vs.
Chris Jericho
Oh god, please don’t say they are dragging Jericho down to this level now.
If he’d been left on Smackdown, he could easily be fighting for the World Title now, but instead they move him to Raw where the title picture is pretty dense (although I know I’d sure as hell book him over Sheamus any day) and he’s being forced into Tag feuds and matches against the U.S Champ.
Hopefully this is more about NXT than it is about title belts (as both men’s Rookie’s are battling for the NXT crown) but I doubt it given all the hype about Truth being the new champ before the match.
A huge Y2J chant echoed around for a long period of this match, I wonder how long before they turn him face and have him resume using that nickname.
It seems the creative team are happy to turn anyone that gets enough cheers/boos, unless it’s Cena, in which case they plod along using him as a face that ‘evokes a reaction from the WWE Universe’ rather than being slightly controversial and turning him heel.
Jericho made this a good match, and I guess if I’m honest R-Truth wasn’t too bad either.
At the end of the match Jericho momentarily locked on the Walls of Jericho, but Truth countered it into a pin, which both King and Cole went crazy about.
R-Truth wins by Pinfall.
Segment 3
Bret & The Dynasty
After clips of Batista quitting last week played the cameras cut backstage to Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox in Bret Hart’s office.
Ryder asks Bret to sort out the whole ‘hit’ thing that Ashton has put on him, but Bret says he has bigger fish to fry and the pair leave.
The Hart Dynasty enter and they discuss the people that attacked them last week, asking Bret if he knew who they were.
Bret admitted that he did and in actual fact he signed them to Raw himself.
He says they are called ‘The Woozles’ or something similar, I’ll wait until I see their name come up on the screen before I confirm it.
He says that he won’t punish them for the attack because he can’t be seen to be cutting The Hart Dynasty any slack in comparison to everyone else, but he hopes they will be keen to show that they are no pushovers themselves.
Match 2
Mixed Tag Team Match
Maryse & William Regal (w/Vladimir Kozlov)
Vs.
Eve & Santino Marella
Before the match Santino asks why Kozlov insists on accompanying Regal when he could be part of the greatest tag team ever in the WWE.
He says that in addition, Eve has agreed to make love to Kozlov if they join together.
Eve protests and Santino re-words what he said, explaining that actually she’d love it if they made a team, or something like that.
This match looked like being dull and uneventful, and to be honest it was, even when Kozlov hit the ring and attacked Regal with the Iron Curtain.
Then, Kozlov and Maryse seemed to head up the ramp together while Santino made the pin.
I don’t know where they are going with this, but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like it.
Eve & Santino Marella win by Pinfall.
Segment 4
Bret’s Big Announcement
Bret hits the ring with news of a huge announcement about next week’s Raw.
Guess what… it’s going to be a 3 hour Raw with the Smackdown roster in attendance too!
Great.
You know, this announcement would have had a lot more impact had the Smackdown roster not been turning up sporadically on Raw practically every other week anyway.
Bret says that to make things a bit different he and Teddy are welcoming suggestions from the WWE Universe and the Superstars on what should happen next week, so if anyone has any good ideas, they should let him know.
Cue the ‘Fortunate Son’ Ted DiBiase.
Ted and Virgil enter the ring and DiBiase says that he has a suggestion; Make him G.M for the night, with complete control.
He says that he’s willing and able to pay whatever it takes and he knows Bret isn’t too big to be bought.
Ted utters his father’s favourite moniker ‘Everybody’s got a price’.
He accuses Bret of returning to the WWE purely because he needs money, and tells him not to let his pride get in the way and just name his price.
While Bret is pondering Ashton Kutcher appears on the titan-tron and suggests that instead they do the first ever ‘Raw Viewers Choice’.
Think Cyber Sunday only on Raw.
Bret agrees but before it can sink in Mr. McMahon’s music hits and he strides out onto the staging.
Wait, isn’t his character done now?
McMahon swaggers to the ring and with a beaming grin on his face soaks in the huge ovation from the attending audience.
He tells Bret that he looks 10 years older than when he last saw him at Mania, then brought up how Bret bashed him with the Steel Chair 18 times.
Vince says that would have injured a normal man and said Bret must have got all the bile and poison out of his system to accept the Raw G.M post.
He says that a lot of people have been asking why Vince let him take the G.M post on Raw, then presented a couple of possibilities including setting Bret up for a fall and listening to the WWE Universe if they think he’s the right man for the job.
Vince gives Bret some advice on being G.M, telling him that he has to treat the WWE Universe like children and make the decisions for them, even if it isn’t the most popular one at the time.
He wishes Bret luck and says that he hopes his run as G.M has a happy ending.
Looks like Vince just couldn’t stay out of the limelight.
Personally… I’m happy.
Segment 5
Sneak Attack
Backstage Zack Ryder is still on his guard about who’s going to take him out.
He asks Orton if he is the one who’s been hired to do it because as a ‘Future Legend’ it’d make sense for ‘The Legend Killer’ to be the one to do it.
Orton says that if he had taken the job they wouldn’t even be having the conversation right now.
As Ryder walks away Orton begins to enter his dressing room only to have the door slammed into his shoulder by Edge, who had been lying in wait.
Match 3
Singles Match
The Miz
Vs.
Daniel Bryan
More seemed to be made before this match about Bryan’s ongoing feud with Michael Cole than anything related to him and The Miz.
Cole continued his Bryan bashing during the match, babbling things like ‘go back to the independents’, ‘he’s such a nerd, he doesn’t even have a TV’ and ‘what’s a Vegan anyway?’
Bryan looked like winning with a Crippler Crossface (are we still allowed to call it that?) but Miz escaped into a roll-up. However, Bryan reversed that into a roll-up of his own and scored the 1..2..3.
After the bell Miz attacked Bryan and dumped him to the outside in front of the commentary table, while Cole described what just happened as ‘one of the biggest upsets in the WWE’.
Come on Cole, it was hardly Razor Ramon Vs. The 123 Kid.
Anyway, Bryan got the better of Miz and sent him flying over the announce table right into Michael Cole, who crumpled to the floor in a heap, before returning to the announce table to continue his claims of assault.
Daniel Bryan wins by Pinfall.
Segment 6
The Uso Brothers & Tamina
After clips of the attack on The Hart Dynasty, Jay and Jimmy Uso, along with Tamina (aka Joshua & Jonathan Fatu and Sarona Reiher) are in the ring.
The Fatu’s are the sons of former WWE Intercontinental Champion Rikishi Fatu, and Tamina is the daughter of WWE Hall of Famer Jimmy Snuka.
They talked about not being the only team in the WWE that has a strong history, explaining their own links to the past (although they didn’t mention that Rikishi is their dad.)
They explained that the only reason they attacked THD was because they wanted to make a name for themselves, and that Kidd, Smith and Natalya were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
After talking about how they aren’t ‘traditional’ Samoans they pass the microphone to Tamina who explains that she is the daughter of Snuka, and rants about how The Hart’s are remembered as a prestigious wrestling family while hers is all but forgotten.
The Hart Dynasty eventually hit the ring and the six of them brawl, with The Uso’s getting the upper hand thanks mostly to Tamina.
Pretty uninspiring first promo from these guys, I hope they get better stuff to work with soon because from that brief altercation they looked VERY good in-ring.
Segment 7
Here comes the Hit
After the commercials Zack Ryder and Alicia Fox hit the ring.
Ryder says he’s not hanging around to get jumped, so he’s in the ring now to find out who’s been contracted for ‘the hit’.
Ashton appears on the screen and says that if he really wants to know he’ll tell him.
The King creeps into the ring with a chair, then The Great Khali and Goldust both appear from the back, but all of these turn out to be decoys.
Ryder says he can’t take it any more and apologises for calling Ashton out on Twitter, demanding he tells him who it is right now.
Ashton tells him that he’s never going to see it coming, at which point Alicia turns on Ryder in the ring.
Anyone not see that coming? Nah, didn’t think so.
On a more positive note, the cast of the new A-Team (including UFC’s Quentin ‘Rampage’ Jackson) will be guest hosting next week’s 3 hour special.
Main Event Match
Tag Team Match
John Cena & Randy Orton
Vs.
Edge & Sheamus
Before the match Cena hit the ramp and explained that Orton has busted up his shoulder and won’t be able to compete tonight.
Cena commends Edge on his plan to leave him short-handed and without a partner, but tells him that it failed because everyone in the back hates them so it was easy to find a replacement at short notice.
Orton’s replacement? Evan Bourne.
Main Event Match V.2
Tag Team Match
John Cena & Evan Bourne
Vs.
Edge & Sheamus
I don’t like to be cynical, but I wonder how much truth there is to the rumour that Bourne’s segment at the start of the show purposefully took place before things went on air because of how bad he is at delivering.
The fact that we’ve not once seen a clip of it tonight supports this theory.
Speaking of rumours, here’s another piece of breaking news fresh from the outbox of the WWEBlog Informant:
My sources tell me that The Deadman is 50/50 to make it to Fatal 4 Way after suffering an injury during his almighty comeback on last week’s Smackdown.
Details are sketchy surrounding the actual injury itself, although it is almost 100% that Rey Mysterio was at fault and caused it during the match, which makes it even more surprising that he is tipped to fill the slot should Taker not be able to compete.
In other news, rumours are rife that next week’s BIG 3 hour Raw is to be graced by the presence of a rather big name.
The Rock shook the WWE Universe into a frenzy last year when he hinted he may be guest hosting Raw, but since then nothing has come to fruition.
But with a huge 3 hour show emanating from Miami, The Rock’s nephews making their début last week and The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment with not an awful lot on his schedule, the rumour mill has gone into overdrive.
Is it true? I wouldn’t like to say.
-The Informant
As for this match, it was a very solid main event which saw a HUGE push for Bourne, who got the pinfall over Sheamus after Cena had done all the dirty work.
Bourne got to celebrate with Cena after the match, but it kind of had the feeling of ‘a kid who won a competition’ to it, with him looking kind of out of place despite putting on a hell of a match.
John Cena & Evan Bourne win by Pinfall.
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