The Raw Review – 30th November 2009
30/11/2009
Hello and welcome the Live Raw Review.
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Match 1: Melina & Gail Kim Vs. Maryse & Jillian Hall
Match 2: Sheamus Vs. Santino Marella
Segment 2: Jeri-Show Meet Verne
Segment 3: Troyer Makes an Appearance
Match 3: Kofi Kingston Vs. Randy Orton
Match 4: The Miz Vs. Mark Henry
Segment 6: No Little People’s Court
Main Event: Chris Jericho Vs. Triple H
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
Show’s Back
In a change to the norm, Jeri-Show are out first tonight and aren’t interrupting tonight’s guest host.
When I heard Jeri-Show’s music I fully expected Jericho to make his way to the ring on his own, but much to my surprise The Big Show accompanied him.
Show is fresh out of surgery and did look to be moving rather slowly (more-so than usual) down the ramp and into the ring.
Jericho starts by saying they are here to dispel the myths that DX are the best tag team in the history of the WWE, and that they are going to claim the titles at TLC.
He states that Jeri-Show have been tag champs for over 4 months, beating everyone placed in their paths, including the Brothers of Destruction. He also says that they claimed the titles on their first night of existance (not technically true as Jericho already had the belts and gave one half to Show) whereas DX have been together since ’97 and have never held the gold.
Show takes over, immediately branding DX as fraudsters. He backs this statement up by saying that while they might have a lot of merchandise sales, they can’t compare to Jeri-Show in terms of in-ring dominance.
Show then moves onto title reigns, a category I thought DX might actually have an edge on, but seemingly not. Jeri-Show have apparently had over 42 title runs between them, Jericho was the first Undisputed World Champion, and Show is the only person to have held the WWE, WCW and ECW Championships.
Jericho’s final piece of evidence is that DX have never been in a TLC match, so they don’t know what they are getting into.
Triple H and Shawn must have heard enough by this point, as they made their way out to the ring.
Shouldn’t they be preparing for Little People’s Court? (Which will undoubtedly involve tonight’s guest host Verne Troyer.)
DX say they forgot the most important fact, that they are boring everyone to death.
Triple H then sings his faction’s praises, claiming DX have been at the forefront of every revolution in the wrestling industry for the past decade. He says they have made history, and amassed an army who believe that no matter how bad things are, you should grab life by the throat and make it give you what you want.
Shawn says this is exactly what they are going to do in his home town, by taking the gold for the first time in their first TLC match.
Triple H says that a victory for them will also come with an added bonus; Jericho will be gone from Raw.
Jericho says that this would be a tragedy for Raw as the ratings would drop. He then says that how ever they want to dress it up, he knows that never holding the tag team gold eats away at DX.
Triple H says that 2 weeks can’t come fast enough, but until then they should make every second count, challenging Jericho to a 1 on 1 match later tonight.
After consulting with Show, Jericho accepts the challenge on one condition; If Jericho loses next week he’ll face DX in a handicap match, but if he wins Triple H will face Jeri-Show in a handicap match.
Jericho ends the segment by telling DX he has 4 words for them; ‘I’m never leaving Raw’.
Match 1
Divas Tag Team Match
Melina & Gail Kim
Vs.
Maryse & Jillian Hall
As Maryse and Jillian made their way through the back Josh Mathews caught up with them.
He asked Maryse what provoked her to attack the Divas Champion last week and she responded by saying that when someone is walking around with her Divas Championship it gave her no choice.
I’ve paraphrased that for you, the full conversation actually involved Jillian Hall singing the word ‘Gobble’.
I’m glad Maryse is back, she is pretty much the perfect heel diva and I now appreciate why there was so much hype in the wrestling community when she first came to the WWE.
She looked a touch rusty here, although she didn’t get much of a chance to show if she was ready to get back in the ring, as Melina dominated the match pretty much the whole way through.
However, just as the Divas Champion looked to be on the way to a victory Maryse blocked her attempt at a finisher, then struck with her trademark DDT to steal a win in her first match back.
I’ve no doubt we’ll get to see more from Maryse and Melina, and that can only be a good thing for the Divas division.
You don’t often hear us singing the praises of the Divas division here at WWEBlog, but I admit I’d probably quite look forward to a Pay Per View match between those two.
Maryse & Jillian Hall win by Pinfall.
Match 2
Singles Match
Sheamus
Vs.
Santino Marella
Sheamus got a big introduction here from Justin Roberts, who felt the need to add to it and took the microphone when he got to the ring.
Someone really dropped the ball here. While The Celtic Warrior made his way to the ring King and Cole talked about how this is a big opportunity for him as he doesn’t have to pin Cena or make Cena submit, he just has to slam him through a table at TLC to claim the title, and he’s already proven he can do that last week on Raw.
Sheamus then said exactly the same thing, almost verbatim.
As Santino’s music hit King made matters worse, forgetting this was actually a match and questioning why Santino would want to interrupt Sheamus.
Once in the ring Santino laid into Sheamus (or Lameus as he called him), claiming that he must be jealous because he has skin pigmentation and worried that he’s after his lucky charms.
The Celtic Warrior decided he had heard enough and attacked Santino, beating him down and putting him through a table after a Pump Kick and a Razors Edge.
I don’t think this match ever got started. Perhaps that’s why King got so confused.
Match ends in a No-Contest.
Segment 2
Jeri-Show meet Verne
Jeri-Show are walking backstage and discussing tactics when they stop next to Verne Troyer who is on his cell phone.
The size difference between Show and Troyer is immense, and really has to be seen to be believed.
Verne stops talking on his cell, shakes Show’s hand and says he is looking good, then completely ignores Jericho despite numerous attempts by the Superstar of the Year to get his attention.
Troyer eventually talks to Jericho, telling him to hold that thought and continuing to chat on his phone.
Jericho storms off, leaving Troyer and Show to talk some more.
Segment 3
Troyer Makes an Appearance
When the show returns from commercials Verne Troyer is sat at the top of the ramp on a ridiculously high stool.
As he prepares to make his opening speech, Michael Cole explains that Verne and Show know each other from ‘doing a movie a few years back’.
That movie was Jingle All The Way, it’s almost 13 years old and the two of them were in a single two minute scene. Nice one Cole.
Verne says that when he saw his old pal Seth Green having so much fun guest hosting Raw, he decided he wanted to have a go at it too.
He says he had a lot of fun at Summerslam and everyone was so great to him, apart from one person who was an irritating, obnoxious jerk; The Miz.
The Miz makes his way out from the back and insults Verne’s size, then does a pretty good Dr. Evil impression, saying they could dress him up and make him ‘Mini-Miz’.
Verne hits back and says that he’d imitate The Miz but he hasn’t been in any movies, which is surprising as they’ve made two Jackass Movies.
He says he’s a better actor, a bigger star and much better with the ladies.
The Miz says he’d have no problem using the ring posts as uprights and him as the football, prompting Mark Henry to come to the little guys aid.
The Miz brands Mark Henry ‘The Worlds Blandest Man’ and likens him to ‘Fat Bastard’, doing yet another impression from Austin Powers to get his point across.
Miz says that Henry has had his 15 minutes of fame, so he should get off the stage, because the only thing anyone is going to remember is that He’s The Miz… and he’s Awesome!
Verne says that he’d like to slap that smug smile off The Miz’s face, but he’d rather Mark Henry do it, booking them in a match later tonight.
Match 3
Singles Match
Kofi Kingston
Vs.
Randy Orton
It looks like we might have our second match of the night called off here.
As Kofi made his way down the ramp Cody Rhodes blind-sided him, beating him down and hurling him hard into the steel steps.
I was actually looking forward to this match.
Kingston battles to his feet and literally drags himself into the ring, saying he still wants the match to go on.
As Orton’s entrance music begins to play DiBiase hits the ring via the crowd and attacks Kofi for the second time, targeting his leg and blasting it on the ring apron.
Once again Kofi decides he wants to go on.
This is more disappointing than if he had just called it off, because even if he doesn’t get squashed it’s not going to be the great match it could have been.
On the other hand, I guess this keeps things fresh for a proper 1 on 1 match at a PPV.
Orton completely squashed Kingston and despite a small fightback picked up the win with an RKO.
After the bell Orton set Kofi up on the top rope and hit a brutal rope-assisted DDT which spiked Kingston into the mat.
Roll on the PPV match.
Randy Orton wins by Pinfall.
Segment 4
M.V.P Has a Plan
Back in the guest host’s office Verne and M.V.P are playing Smackdown Vs. Raw 2010 when Jillian Hall enters.
She says that The Miz was right about Henry having no personality, unlike her.
She asks permission to sing a song, which is initially refused, until M.V.P says he has a plan to show that Mark Henry does have a side that isn’t all about business.
He tells Jillian to sing and Mark to dance with her.
The Worlds Strongest man is reluctant to join in at first, but eventually starts dancing as Jillian screeches Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’.
I’m not quite sure what happened next, (the camera zoomed right in and it wasn’t really made clear) but it resulted in Henry laying on top of Jillian who Verne described as ‘dead’.
Probably the strangest segment I’ve seen since Triple H’s Katie Vick promo.
Segment 5
The Champ is Here…
Before the commercials Cena arrives at the arena, then afterwards he makes his way to the ring.
Cena seems to be all business tonight, choosing to address Sheamus rather than pose for the fans.
He says that Sheamus hasn’t beaten him yet, but if he should then he will use his rematch at TLC.
Both myself, and the crowd, seemed a little confused by this.
I figured he meant that if Sheamus won in the tables match, they’d fight again on the same night, but apparently that isn’t the case.
Cena explains that he wants Sheamus to come out here right now and face him for the championship tonight.
Rather than Sheamus, Carlito makes an appearance for the first time in a few months.
Carlito says he doesn’t know Sheamus and he doesn’t particularly like him, but he likes what he stands for.
He says that there are a lot of Superstars across all three brands hoping and praying for a Sheamus win at TLC, because they are tired of him hogging the spotlight.
He says Sheamus is going to do what they all want to do, put Cena through a table and become the new WWE Champion.
Carlito finishes by saying that at TLC both Cena’s title reign and his reign over the whole of the WWE will be over.
Cena says Carlito picked the wrong guy on the wrong night and his mouth is about to back him into a fight that he doesn’t want.
He says if Carlito doesn’t like him, then he should step up.
Carlito chomps on his apple and prepares to spit it into Cena’s face, but the champ gets the first shot in and hits an Attitude Adjustment.
Sheamus takes this as his cue to emerge and Cena tells him if he wants some he should come and get some.
The Celtic Warrior begins to head towards the ring, but then thinks better of it and exits to the back, destroying pretty much every trace of the tough guy image they’ve been building for him these past few weeks.
I hope Carlito’s involvement wasn’t just a one off. I quite like him as both a wrestler and a character, and his first rivalry in the WWE against Cena was a very good one, so I wouldn’t mind seeing them rekindle that at some point down the line.
Match 4
Singles Match
The Miz
Vs.
Mark Henry (w/ M.V.P)
Verne is back out on his ridiculously high stool to introduce his ‘homies’ for this match.
The Worlds Strongest Tag Team emerge and M.V.P says they are about to do something really special for the crowd.
Apparently in an attempt to show Henry has character, he’s going to rap tonight.
I’m more than a little worried.
Henry actually sounded very similar to Fat Man Scoop, although didn’t seem to posses any of his timing or rhythm.
After the commercials this match got underway.
Perhaps The Miz is right about Mark Henry, because I didn’t really care about this match at all, despite quite liking The Miz.
The Miz dominated what was a pretty short match until Henry caught him and hit a Worlds Strongest Slam out of nowhere to pick up the win.
According to Michael Cole this should put Henry in the U.S Title picture.
I really hope not.
After the match Verne says they should celebrate by bringing the ladies out.
Perennial guest host botherers The Bellas emerge along with Kelly Kelly and Eve, and dance around a bit with Henry and Verne.
Mark Henry wins by Pinfall.
Segment 6
No Little People’s Court
Backstage DX talk about how they had a really strange dream where a ‘little person’ gave them a court order to appear in ‘little people’s court’.
just as they decide they shouldn’t dwell on it any more Hornswoggle enters dressed in a suit.
He says (well, grunts, although this time it was subtitled) that he is disappointed that they have ignored his plea for legal discourse he is left with little choice but to seek further prosecution.
HBK says he speaks leprechaun and tells the little guy he has nothing on them, then the pair exit for the main event match.
Verne wheels up to Hornswoggle on a mobility scooter and tells him that he should sue them for everything they have got.
I guess they decided having a ‘Little People’s Court’ segment would be pushing the boundaries just a little too far.
Main Event Match
Singles Match
Chris Jericho
Vs.
Triple H (w/ Shawn Michaels)
Dallas Cowboys owner Mark Cuban is going to be guest hosting next week! Can you feel the excitement emanating from these words as you read them?!
No? That’s probably because there isn’t any.
Do the WWE realise they have a WORLDWIDE audience? I doubt many people outside of the states would know who this guy was, or care for that matter.
Apparently he was involved in a segment at Survivor Series 2003, but I don’t really remember it.
Anyway, rant over lets get on with the main event!
Show is noticeably absent from ringside as this match kicks off and HBK joins the commentary team, leading me to believe they don’t want to take any risks with his injured knee.
That also makes me assume Triple H is going to win this match and put Jericho in a handicap match next week, rather than have Show in the ring before the important PPV match, but I guess we’ll see.
However a few minutes in Show’s music echoes around the arena and the giant emerges from the back distracting Triple H, allowing Jericho to take advantage as the show goes to commercials.
Show sits himself at the other end of the commentary desk, leading to some heated banter between the two as the battle raged on in the ring.
Triple H and Jericho delivered as they so often do in the ring, while the debate at the desk did a great job of building tension for the title match at TLC.
The Game rocked Jericho several times and almost picked up the win on a couple of occasions, prompting Show and then Michaels to jump up from the announce position.
Show shoved Michaels to the floor, causing a distraction and allowing him to strike Triple H with a Knockout Punch behind the officials back.
Then, as the referee ejected Show from the ringside area, HBK snook into the ring and landed a (pretty poor by his standards) Sweet Chin Music on Jericho, evening the odds but getting himself ejected as well.
Both men struggled back to their feet and moments later Triple H rolled up his rival to pick up the win and book a DX Vs. Jericho match next week.
Once at the top of the ramp DX tell Jericho next week will be his last night on Raw as the show wraps up.
Triple H wins by Pinfall.
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