The Raw Review – 29th March 2010
29/03/2010
Hello and welcome the Raw Review.
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: The Animal Bites Back
Segment 2: A Legendary Introduction
Match 1: Christian Vs. Ted DiBiase
Segment 4: Game Over for Shawn
Match 2: Divas WrestleMania ReMatch
Match 3 : The Hart Dynasty Vs. ShowMiz
Main Event Match: Batista & Jack Swagger Vs. John Cena & ???
Closing Segment: HBK’s Final Farewell
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
The Animal Bites Back
So we’re less than 24 hours removed from the biggest Pay Per View of the year and the first man out is the former WWE Champion; Batista.
He makes his way slowly to the ring under a single spotlight, getting viciously booed as he stepped between the ropes.
As he begins to talk the crowd erupt into a ‘You Tapped Out’ chant, which he lets go before explaining that although everyone expected him to come out here and complain, he’s not going to give them the satisfaction.
He says that last night was just a blip on the radar and in a couple of months time no one will even remember WrestleMania.
He vows to reclaim the WWE Championship in his guaranteed re-match and says that regardless of what happened at ‘Mania, Cena can’t beat him.
The NEW WWE Champion is next to hit the ring and after soaking in some of the adulation from the crowd, calmly explains that at WrestleMania he DID beat Batista.
A huge ‘Cena Sucks’ chant fills the arena, effectively crapping all over the new champs parade.
Cena continues regardless and mocks Batista for tapping out, which the ridiculously fickle crowd cheer like loons.
John talks about HBK’s retirement later in the night and says that if Batista wants to make history he can have his re-match tonight. He says that usually this is the point where the other guy usually says ‘no, not tonight’, then implores Batista to accept.
Unsurprisingly Batista refuses, then tries to land a cheap shot, but fails miserably and ends up being dumped out of the ring.
Then, just as it looked like the segment might be over Jack Swagger jumped the rails and blasted Cena with his newly aquired Money in the Bank contract.
After taking 4-5 shots he grabbed a microphone and demanded a ref hit the ring as he was cashing in his contract.
However, as he attempted to hit the Gutwrench Powerbomb Cena reversed and almost locked in the STF, prompting Swagger to reconsider his decision and keep his title shot for another day.
Segment 2
A Legendary Introduction
Remember a few weeks back I mentioned that the stars of some film about a time travelling hot tub were going to guest host Raw at some point?
Well despite the fact I don’t have a clue who the hell either of them are, their arrival was preceded by a plethora of legends surrounding the ring.
Ted DiBiase, I.R.S, Arn Anderson, Pat Patterson, Nick Bockwinkel, Roddy Piper, Sgt. Slaughter, Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat and Tony Garea all joined Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler around the apron.
It’s probably for the best they did, because Clark Duke and Rob Corddry completely bombed as they announced a Batista/Swagger Vs. Cena and a partner match for the main event, a special ‘Hot Tub’ match pitting the pair of them against the WWE Divas and a ’80′s Lumberjack’ match.
The crowds complete dis-interest for everything they said and did was blatantly apparent, and I think I speak for the majority of the WWE Universe when I say it was a joy when it finally reached it’s climax and the legends lumberjack match began.
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Match 1
80′s Lumberjack Match
Christian
Vs.
Ted DiBiase
Hmm it’ll be interesting to see what develops here, with Ted’s pappy pulling lumberjack duty on the outside.
Michael Cole revealed during the course of the match that Craig Robinson, also of Hot Tub Time Machine fame was set to join them tonight, but he has ‘no idea’ where he could have gotten to.
In other news Cody Rhodes is out with a concussion following Orton’s Punt, no word on how long that’s going to be.
The match fell apart as both competitors spilled to the outside. A brawl broke out between the heel and face legends shortly afterwards, which distracted DiBiase just long enough for Christian to hit the KillSwitch and pick up the win.
After the match Ted Snr. hopped in the ring to console his son, but Ted Jr. shunned his father and shoved him away before leaving.
Christian wins by Pinfall.
Segment 3
Hot Tub Heaven
Backstage tonight’s two guest hosts are set for their Hot Tub Match.
They explain the rules to the divas already waiting in the tub (Tiffany, Rosa Mendes and… you guessed it, The Bellas) which are simple enough; whoever stays in the hot tub with them the longest wins.
The Divas ask what they can win, then suggest a Divas Championship match, which the boys are only too happy to accept as a stipulation before climbing in.
Segment 4
Game Over for Shawn
Triple H makes his way out onto the staging in a rather dejected mood.
He says he never expected this to happen and thought that HBK could beat The Deadman, then started to reminisce about the first time he met him.
He explained how they took on the world together, fighting everyone in their path, including each other on a few occasions, but through all that they’ve always fought for each other and with each other.
As tears began to well up in his eyes Triple H said that he’d come out before all the stuff later on because he has something to say to Shawn that he’s never said before, and wants to say infront of the whole world.
However, before he got to say whatever it was that he planned on saying, Sheamus appeared from the back and nailed him with a lead pipe.
Match 2
Divas WrestleMania ReMatch
Beth Phoenix
Gail Kim
Mickie James
Eve
Kelly Kelly
Vs.
Michelle McCool
Layla
Maryse
Alicia Fox
Vickie Guererro
As soon as I heard the term ‘WrestleMania ReMatch’ and Kelly Kelly’s music playing I readied myself to go on a huge rant about how this match was an embarrassment to the Mania card and shouldn’t even be talked about again never mind repeated.
But, before I got chance to do all that Eve rolled up Maryse and grabbed a 1..2..3 in super-quick time to put us all out of our misery before it had really begun.
Vickie quickly got in the winning teams face, distracting them long enough for the heels to jump in the ring and attack, but the fight back didn’t last long and the good girls ended the match united in the ring.
Eve & Co. win by Pinfall.
Segment 5
Bret’s Retribution
After his successful night at WrestleMania Bret Hart makes his way to the ring.
He starts out by congratulating long-time enemy Shawn Michaels for his fantastic career, then moved onto the fact that Shawn said good things would happen if he was brought back to the WWE.
Bret talks about how the whole Hart family got their revenge on McMahon last night and he could feel the vibes from his mother, Owen and The British Bulldog watching down.
A huge ‘Owen’ chant broke out around the arena and Bret revealed a T-Shirt with his brothers face on it.
He says that the last three months have been a great ride and he’s had a blast coming back, but now he finally feels good and is ready to leave.
Just as he waves goodbye to the WWE Universe ShowMiz’s music hits and the Tag Team Champions make their way down the ramp.
Once in the ring they show off their title belts, before turning their attention to The Hitman.
Miz questions why Bret is so proud that he beat Vince in a 20-1 Handicap Match, then said that all he achieved was to rob The Miz of his ‘moment’.
Miz classes himself as the most glorified champion in the WWE and says that he’s only 17 wins away from tying The Deadman’s Mania Streak.
He tells Bret that he and his family are over-rated, then orders him to leave.
Bret says that if they want him to leave so badly they’ll make him.
Just as Show squares up to him The Hart Dynasty’s music blasts out and the three of them hit the ring to tip the numbers in Bret’s favour, forcing ShowMiz to leave.
Could this finally be a decent push for The Hart Dynasty? I certainly hope so.
As ShowMiz walk up the ramp Bret asks them where they are going, then challenges them to a match on behalf of The Hart Dynasty, saying they’d embarrass them just like they did Vince McMahon last night.
Big Show doesn’t want any part of it, but after some convincing from The Miz they both return to the ring and the match begins!
Match 3
Tag Team Match
The Hart Dynasty (w/Natalya & Bret Hart)
Vs.
ShowMiz
Ok, so it’s non-title, but at least it’s a big match, far better than another bout against Cryme Tyme or Matt Hardy & Khali.
I’m still a little unsure that The Hart Dynasty’s allegiance with Bret is legitimate though, after all, they DID call him an embarrassment a couple of months back when he first returned, and they’ve not really shown any signs of turning face until last night.
I have to admit I expected them to turn on Bret the whole way through the match at Mania, and I’m getting the same feeling here, although I sincerely hope I’m wrong.
This was a superb match and I found it hard not to keep my eyes glued on it.
Signs of a slight rift between ShowMiz seemed to develop as the match went on, with Miz tagging himself into the match when Show was clearly in control.
Then, as Kidd got the better of Miz and locked him in a SharpShooter, Show took his time helping his partner, asking him if he was going to listen to him now.
After Miz agreed that he would Show dragged him out of the ring and the two walked to the back, losing the match by count-out.
The Hart Dynasty win by Count Out.
Segment 6
Back in the Tub
Meanwhile, back in the tub all four women are still on contention for the victory. Sigh.
However, after being told they may earn an advantage by ‘gyrating’, Tiffany and Rosa declared themselves out, leaving just the boys and the Bella’s in the tub.
Then, as if by magic Craig Robinson appears on a screen in the background (technology these days!)
He tells them that ‘someone’ switched his plane tickets for ones that arrive tomorrow.
Still annoyed, Robinson says that while he isn’t at the show he’s still guest host and can still make decisions.
He informs the Bellas that they have won, then introduces some ‘new opponents’, replacing them with Mark Henry and Hornswoggle, who bites the bald guy (I don’t know his name) and slaps his head.
Main Event Match
Tag Team Match
Jack Swagger & Batista
Vs.
John Cena &
Swagger hits the ring first carrying his coveted Money in the Bank briefcase.
I’m still not sure about him winning, it seems like a waste when people like Christian or Ziggler could have made better use of it.
Swagger crows about how he always gets what he wants and claims that he was just toying with Cena earlier in the night.
As Cena enters he claims he has a major announcement regarding his partner, claiming him to be an old friend of Batista’s.
Randy Orton’s music hits and stuns the capacity crowd, and me too.
Wow, I didn’t see that coming.
Surely Orton hates Cena more than he hates Batista? I’m interested to see where this is leading.
Orton and Cena get the better of Swagger in the early going, with Batista not seeming too keen to engage with either of them.
However, when he did a show of good teamwork with Swagger swung the match in their favour in a matter of seconds.
Batista seemed to be in control for the majority of the match, but after reversing a Batista Bomb Cena made the tag to Orton, who entered and immediately beat both opponents down, drilling them with RKO’s before picking up the pinfall over the Money in the Bank winner.
After the bell Orton and Cena stood off each other, slowly exchanging glances that were ‘mutual shows of respect’ according to The King.
Randy Orton and John Cena win by Pinfall.
Closing Segment
HBK’s Final Farewell
Throughout the night numerous clips have played outlining the ‘best bits’ from Shawn’s career.
In truth you’d need a DVD to do that, and coincidentally one seems to have just hit the market.
The clips have all been leading up to this point, Shawn’s farewell address, and with a HUGE chunk of the card left it’s likely to be something special.
Shawn makes his way to the ring in his cowboy-esque gear, absorbing the chants of the crowd before preparing himself to speak.
However, just as he lifts the microphone to his lips a familiar gong sounds and The Deadman emerges at the top of the ramp, to raucous boos from the crowd.
Taker tips his hat to HBK and heads backstage, now with the crowd back in his favour.
Shawn says he’s not quite sure what to say to everyone, inciting a ‘Please Don’t Go’ chant from the crowd.
He talks about how he broke into the business at 19 years of age, and after coming into people’s homes for all these years, is going to have to take some time to get used to the fact that it won’t be happening any more.
The crowd chant ‘Thank You Shawn’ but he turns it back on them and says that he has to thank them, because for the longest time the fans and the ring were the only things he had in his life.
He says that for the longest time the WWE fans were the only things in the world that made him like himself.
Shawn says he can think of so many people to thank, but he’s scared to do it in case he forgets someone, but he has to thank Hunter for being his friend when no one else in the world wanted to touch him.
He concedes that back in the day he wasn’t an easy person to be around and not a lot of people liked him for it, but Hunter never left his side once and he can’t thank him enough for the real friendship they have shared for the last 16 years.
He then says that although it will sound strange, he has to thank the people in the production truck, the camera men, the ring crew and the commentary team including JR because they made him look so much better than he actually was.
He thanks ‘Adam’ from Connecticut, who is apparently the person who puts a lot of the VT’s together.
The crowd break out into a chant of ‘One More Match’, and Shawn says that he understands there are a lot of people who are sceptical about ‘career ending’ matches, but he doesn’t want to go back on his word to the fans and back on his word to The Undertaker, so he is going to do everything in his power to make sure ‘one more match’ doesn’t happen.
Next Shawn thanks Bret Hart. He admits that back in the 90′s he drove Bret crazy, and that everything he’s ever said about The Heartbreak Kid was more than likely justified.
He thanks him for giving him the chance to make a mends and regards his friendship as an honour.
Shawn moves on to Vince next. He says that he might get in trouble for mentioning his name, but it’s his farewell speech and he’s going to anyway.
He says that there’s no way he could ever work for anyone else, because once you’ve worked for Vince for 20+ years there’s no way you could ever work a regular gig again.
He thanks him for his patience because apparently the only person HBK drove crazy more than Bret was Vince McMahon.
He talks about his tougher days and attributes the fact that he’s still here today to Vince keeping him on a (relatively) straight and narrow course.
Lastly he thanks each and every member of the WWE Universe (who thank him back with another chant), saying that he’s spent more of his adult life with the fans than he has his family, and it was an honour and a privilege.
As another HBK chant rang around the arena Shawn thanked the lord for saving him and told his kids that he was coming home.
Saying he’d end things as they started he announced that ‘The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building’, then made his way up the ramp saluting the fans and tagging hands, before delivering one final wave and a round of applause at the top of the steel.
As the show got ready to go off the air Triple H emerged from the back and the two hugged.
Triple H placed a glow stick X on the top of the ramp and the two headed backstage.
Goodbye HBK
Amazing respect shown tonight for a simply fantastic wrestler.
The WWE will be worse off for losing HBK, but I have the ultimate respect for him and the way in which he conducted himself tonight.
I’ve often complained about wrestlers ‘retiring’ only to be in the ring a few months later as if it didn’t happen, and I think it takes a real professional to walk away when the time is right, rather than ‘flogging a dead horse’ and ruining a great reputation.
I’d like to say on behalf of everyone at WWEBlog Thank you Shawn, you will be sorely missed.
Thanks for the memories.
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