The Raw Review – 28th September 2009
28/09/2009
Hello and welcome the all new Live Raw Review.
After getting some positive feedback we’ve decided to stick with the new layout for a little while longer.
We’d still love to know what you think about the changes so please feel free to get in touch via the Contact Us page, or any of the usual email addresses.
As for the banners, I know we said they were temporary… but I’ll be honest we’re warming to them.
On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: The V.I.P Lounge With Mark Henry
Match 1: Jeri-Show Vs. M.V.P & Mark Henry
Segment 3: Randy Orton Interviewed
Match 2: Rosa Mendes Vs. Mickey James
Segment 4: Legacy Hype Hell in a Cell
Match 3: Jack Swagger Vs. Evan Bourne
Match 4: Santino & Hornswoggle Vs. Guerrro & Masters
Main Event: John Cena Vs. Randy Orton & Jeri-Show
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
The V.I.P Lounge With Mark Henry
Raw kicks off tonight with Mark Henry and M.V.P in the ring, which has been transformed into the V.I.P Lounge.
M.V.P introduces tonight’s guest host but instead of Rev. Al Sharpton appearing Jeri-Show make their way to the ring.
Jericho complains that M.V.P’s introduction wasn’t good enough and he should have given Sharpton more respect.
M.V.P and Jericho throw Al’s achievements back and forth before both introducing him at the same time.
Sharpton makes his way to the ring while the crowd boo and hiss, then begins to talk about his plans to reform education all across the country and plugged his Education Reform Tour.
After he’d said his bit M.V.P requests that the Rev. put them in a title match tonight, regardless of the Tag Title match scheduled for Hell in a Cell.
Jericho points out that not only do they already have a match tonight but M.V.P and Mark Henry have already had a shot and deserve a re-match about as much as the imbecilic audience deserve an education.
Sharpton asks the crowd if they’d like to see the match tonight and gets an emphatic ‘yes’, so he books a title match that will take place… right now!
Things are suddenly looking up for John Cena.
Match 1
Tag Team Championship Match
Jeri-Show (c)
Vs.
M.V.P & Mark Henry
If there’s one match I would like to see less than Jeri-Show Vs. Batista & Rey, it’s M.V.P & Mark Henry Vs. Batista & Rey.
Nothing against either team and the wrestling would probably be of a high standard, but there’s nothing behind it to make it interesting and buyable.
Pair that with the fact that Jeri-Show have been completely dominant as of late and you can see why I don’t really expect the titles to change hands here tonight.
This was indeed a good opening match, but with the result never really in doubt it kind of detracted from the excitement and it just felt a little insulting that they’d have a match with such an obvious conclusion.
Towards the end of the match M.V.P almost grabbed the win a couple of times, but inevitably Jeri-Show retained the titles with a CodeBreaker after outside interference from The Big Show.
There wasn’t really anything in this match that we hadn’t already seen in previous meetings between the two teams but it was a very solid stand alone match.
Jeri-Show retain the Tag Team Championships by Pinfall.
Segment 2
Oh FFS, Not Again
Primo is backstage chatting with Rev. Sharpton when Hornswoggle runs in screaming and shouting, closely followed by Chavo Guerrero. Yup, that’s right, they’re still flogging that dead horse.
Chavo introduces himself to Sharpton as the greatest Mexican-American Superstar of all time, before introducing his tag team partner for tonight; Chris Masters.
Santino then appears and introduces his partner for tonight; Hornswoggle.
Santino then mistakes Rev. Sharpton for Don King and the original Shaft before he tells everyone to get out of his office.
Segment 3
Randy Orton Interviewed
Backstage Josh Mathews attempts to ask Orton about the Cena competing in the 3 on 1 Gauntlet match, but Orton cuts him off.
Orton says that Cena will not be competing tonight, he won’t even be surviving.
Orton then moves onto Hell in a Cell on Sunday, explaining once again how his experience gives him the upper hand and claiming that he will regain the WWE Championship.
Match 2
Divas Match
Rosa Mendes (w/Alicia Fox)
Vs.
Mickey James
Yawn. I never thought I’d say this, but Smackdown’s Divas Division is far far superior to Raw’s at the minute.
Raw has two of the best Heel Divas perhaps of all time in Beth Phoenix and Maryse, yet Alicia Fox has a title match against James at Hell in a Cell and Rosa Mendes is facing the champ in a warm-up match.
Mendes and Fox aren’t the worst in terms of wrestling ability, but they aren’t established enough (in my opinion) to be credible #1 contenders.
This match was about as bad as I expected it to be; a handful of botched moves, nothing particularly interesting and a predictable mis-communication between Mendes and Fox at the conclusion, allowing James to pick up the win with a Kick to the head.
When James and Fox meet at Hell in a Cell it really has to be better than this.
Mickey James wins by Pinfall.
Segment 4
Legacy Hype Hell in a Cell
DiBiase and Rhodes make their way to the ring as a Cell looms ominously over the ring. How I didn’t notice that huge thing up there I don’t know.
DiBiase kicks off by saying he understands that no one expects Legacy to beat DX inside the Cell, but they should.
He then plays a promo video to back up his point, showing Legacy’s numerous victories over DX both in and out of official matches.
After the clips Rhodes continued to hammer the point home, listing the credentials of Triple H and Shawn Michaels but saying he and DiBiase will end their careers at Hell in a Cell.
As Rhodes continues to ramble on a loud ‘BORRRRRING’ echoes around the arena, not from the crowd but seemingly from Shawn Michaels.
Triple H then chimes in and says ‘this isn’t half bad’, allowing HBK to add the punchline ‘no you’re right, it’s ALL bad’.
The camera then focuses in on DX who are stood up in the crowd.
DiBiase implies that DX are making jokes to cover up the beating they took last week. Triple H says this isn’t the case, they make fun of them are because they are a$$holes.
Triple H then went on to use The Incredible Hulk as an analogy for how DX are calm and jokey outside of the ring, but when the bell rings they turn into big green monsters.
They should have just said they were like Festus, it would have saved a lot of time.
DX made their way down to the ring to challenge Legacy, but Rhodes and DiBiase fled through the crowd.
Triple H tells them to enjoy the distance between them, because on Sunday when the cell lowers around them there will be no more running, no more hiding and no more joking.
Match 3
Singles Match
Jack Swagger
Vs.
Evan Bourne
I’m begging the creative team to give me an interesting match to talk about tonight.
So far we’ve had the most predictable tag team match ever, a Diva’s match that was quite frankly terrible and now a match that would be more at home on ECW in 2008.
That said Swagger and Bourne are both more than capable of putting on a show, and with Swagger still carrying around Kofi Kingston’s United States Championship I wouldn’t rule out interference from the real champ or even The Miz at some point in this one.
Swagger started off in control and wore out Bourne’s leg in the early going,but the high-flyer was able to battle back well and reversed the Gutwrench Powerbomb into a very impressive Double Knee from the top rope.
Unfortunately Bourne couldn’t follow up with the Shooting Star Press and Swagger struck with the Gutwrench Powerbomb moments later to pick up the win.
A very good bout although it could have run a little longer.
After the bell Swagger grabbed a microphone and said he has the looks, the talent and already has the gold, so in a few days at Hell in a Cell he will officially become the U.S Champion.
The Miz cut him off as he began to talk some more, questioning what he just said and claiming he will be the next Champion as he has made the most impact since moving to Raw.
A brawl quickly broke out between The Miz and Swagger and While they were distracted the rightful champion Kofi Kingston snook down to the ring and took back his title belt.
Jack Swagger wins by Pinfall.
Match 4
Tag Team Match
Santino Marella & Hornswoggle
Vs.
Chavo Guererro & Chris Masters
Great, now Masters and Santino have been dragged into this Chavo/Hornswoggle fiasco.
Masters and Chavo isolated Santino and beat him down for the majority of the match and although the Milan Miracle did have a few moments of note, Masters picked up the victory quickly with the Master Lock.
Hornswoggle never even got involved in the official match, although after the bell Masters dragged him into the ring and locked him in a MasterLock too.
Then, in a bizarre twist Chavo drilled Masters in the side of the head to break the hold.
Chavo then wandered up the ramp almost in a trance, looking confused about what he had just done.
Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters win by Technical Knock Out.
Segment 5
Al Thanks The Fans
Just as Rev. Sharpton is about to give his final address to the WWE Universe Jillian Hall enters and asks him to be her manager, before performing a perfectly terrible rendition of ‘Livin’ in America’.
He politely declines the opportunity then moments later is interrupted by The Bella Twins.
They ask him to perform a song for them and he says that if his Education Reform works he’ll ‘Feel Good’, performing a few lines from the James Brown classic before thanking the WWE Universe for having him tonight.
I get why he did appeared tonight and I think it’s a great thing he’s doing, but he’s probably been made the least impact as a Guest Host so far; he only booked one match and that was only because M.V.P asked for it.
Next week’s guest host will be Ben Roethlisberger. Not someone many people over here in the UK will have heard of, but he’s won the SuperBowl twice so I guess he’s pretty much a big deal.
I don’t think I’ll be mentioning his second name much though, I’ll have to come up with a nickname.
Main Event Match
3 on 1 Gauntlet Match
John Cena
Vs.
Randy Orton & Jeri-Show
Match 1 : John Cena Vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho is the first to step into the ring for the 3 man team and instantly takes control, beating down Cena and locking on a Sleeper Hold.
As Jericho covered for a 1 count Michael Cole explained that even if Jericho were to pick up the Pinfall, Cena would still have to face both other men in the gauntlet.
This leads me to ask the question; Why doesn’t Cena just beat him with a steel chair and get disqualified? I guess it’s his pride.
Cena picked up some momentum of his own and hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Jericho was able to wriggle out of the Attitude Adjustment and lock in the Walls of Jericho instead.
Cena made it to the ropes but Jericho refused to relinquish the hold and got disqualified. He then kept the submission locked on until his partner The Big Show made it down to the ring, which must have been 2-3 minutes.
John Cena wins by Disqualification.
Match 2: John Cena Vs. The Big Show (w/Chris Jericho)
Jericho decided to stay at ringside after losing his portion of the gauntlet match, shouting abuse at Cena as The Big Show stood him up then knocked him right back down again.
After the commercials The Big Show remains in control, punishing Cena with a Bearhug before kicking him in the midsection and calling for the ShowStopper.
As Cena rose to his feet Show clamped his big hand around his throat, but the WWE Champion was somehow able to reverse the finisher into a big DDT.
Cena then went to hit an enormous Attitude Adjustment but Jericho dived into the ring and prevented it, causing the disqualification.
Show fell directly on top of Cena, then locked on the Colossal Clutch while Orton sauntered down to the ring.
John Cena wins by Disqualification.
Match 3: John Cena Vs. Randy Orton
As Orton eventually made it into the ring Cena was able to get back upto his feet and square up to the #1 Contender.
As the two looked at each other Cena raised his hand and pointed upwards, at which time the Cell began to descend around them.
Cena picked Orton’s leg and prevented him from escaping before the cell hit the ground.
Orton slowly began edging his way to the open cell door but Cena cut him off at the pass only to beat him to the outside.
As Cena went for the Attitude Adjustment on the outside Orton grabbed the cell wall and quickly clambered up onto the top, closely pursued by the current WWE Champion.
After some tentative movement the pair began to battle atop the structure, until Cena managed to hit the Attitude Adjustment for the first time tonight.
Unfortunately the cell didn’t break, but a great ending to Raw that has actually got me excited for Hell in a Cell. I hope this isn’t the last time we see guys brawling on top of there this week!
Match ends in a No-Contest.
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