The Raw Review – 23rd November 2009 (Thanksgiving Special)
23/11/2009
Hello and welcome the Live Raw Review.
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: A Revolutionary Concept
Match 1: Kofi Kingston Vs. Dolph Ziggler
Segment 2: The Miz on Thanksgiving
Segment 3: Teddy Long (and Vickie) on Thanksgiving
Match 3: C.M Punk Vs. John Cena
Segment 5: The Boss and The Govenor
Match 4: C.Guerrero, Swagger & Masters Vs. The WSTT & R-Truth
Match 5: Evan Bourne Vs. Randy Orton
Match 6: Mayflower Melee Match
Match 7: DX Vs. The Hart Dynasty
Segment 8: Batista Makes his Intentions Clear
Match 8: Cryme Tyme Vs. Legacy
Segment 9: The Divas on Thanksgiving
Main Event: Breakthrough Battle Royal
Closing Segment: Contract Signing
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
A Revolutionary Concept
After Michael Cole welcomed us all to this very special Raw Thanksgiving, the ring announcer does some build up for Jesse Ventura, handily mentioning what he’s set to be plugging throughout the night; ‘Conspiracy Theory’ a show set to début on True TV on December 2nd which he will be hosting.
The worst thing about all these cheap plugs is that I’m now plugging them too.
Anyway, before Ventura can show his face Randy Orton’s music hits and the disgruntled Viper makes his way to the ring.
Once there he says that he realises the normal routine is that the Guest Host comes out, only to be interrupted by someone, but he doesn’t care.
He explains that Jesse will have a major announcement regarding the WWE Championship tonight, then talks about what his father has told him about Ventura’s character.
Ventura apparently considers himself a revolutionary and isn’t afraid to break the rules in order to make something ground breaking, so with that in mind Orton implores him to prove this tonight and lift his ban on being the #1 contender.
Orton says he deserves to be champion more than anyone else, so Jesse should come out here and do what is right, instead of listening to the fans.
The Body makes his way to the ring (looking considerably older than I remember him, although my best memories of him are from SummerSlam 99) and once there says that he isn’t dressed like a Governor tonight, he’s dressed like pro wrestling.
He says that he respects Orton and likes his style, claiming he sees a likeness between the two at that stage of their career.
Despite claiming he isn’t dressed as a Governor tonight, he then harped on about his political career before announcing he is going to bring something BRAND NEW to the WWE tonight.
He informs Orton that he won’t get a shot at the title, then complains that for too long the same people have been getting shots at the title, and it’s time for that to change.
Jesse, I couldn’t agree more.
He explains that tonight we are going to have a tournament, the only grounds for qualification are this; you can never have been a World Champion.
The winner of these tournament matches will go into a ‘Breakthrough Battle Royal’, the winner being granted a title shot against their respective brand’s champion.
Orton tells him that he is making a big mistake and Jesse responds by saying that he’s made plenty before, but you learn from them and what he says goes.
Ventura announces some other ‘firsts’ for tonight;
- Cena Vs. C.M Punk
- DX Vs. The Hart Dynasty
then kicks off the Breakthrough tournament, with Kingston being the first entrant.
As Kingston makes his way down the ramp he and Orton have a brief stand-off before the Legend Killer made his way to the back.
I never used to like Jesse Ventura too much, but that was a very good opening segment and I love the concept of a Breakthrough Tournament.
Match 1
Breakthrough Qualification Match
Kofi Kingston
Vs.
Dolph Ziggler
This should be a fantastic match, if given enough time to run.
I’d love the idea of either of these guys getting a shot at the title, I even said at Survivor Series that I expected Kingston to get a title push in the near future.
However, Kingston Vs. Cena would be pretty hard to build up, and given that Ziggler has failed to win the Intercontinental Championship about six times already, I can’t really see either of these guys winning the tournament, or the subsequent title.
This was indeed a great match, although a little short if anything.
Both men had periods of strong offence, but at the conclusion it came down to who was able to avoid the other’s finisher for longest, and that man was Kofi Kingston.
Kingston attempted the Trouble in Paradise, only for Ziggler to duck and go straight in for the Zig Zag. Kofi cleverly held the ropes to avoid impact, then landed his finisher to conclude the match.
I’d like to see Ziggler get a win at some point soon, he’s lost (or at least failed to win) a lot of high profile matches recently.
Kofi Kingston qualifies for the Breakthrough Battle Royal by Pinfall.
Segment 2
The Miz on Thanksgiving
King and Cole explain that throughout the show tonight Superstars from both Raw and Smackdown (no mention of ECW) will be cutting promos on what they are thankful for.
First up; The Miz.
Backstage, in front of a well spread table, The Miz says that he is thankful for the love and respect he gets from the fans every night.
He’s thankful for being the only person to win at Bragging Rights, for picking winning team at Survivor Series and for being the most dominant and successful US Champion of all time.
He then decides that he’s not thankful for any of those things, because he expected them and if anything the fans should be grateful that they get to watch him week in, week out.
Because he’s the Miz, and he’s Awesome.
Match 2
Breakthrough Qualification Match
Sheamus
Vs.
Finlay
Finlay? Sure he’s never been a World Champion, but if this is his big breakthrough, I think he’s left it a little bit late.
I doubt anyone expects Finlay to pick up the win here, least of all me, but we’ll see.
Finlay takes the fight to Sheamus early, knocking him from the ring and dumping him over the announce table, right into Cole and King’s laps.
King explained that after taking a big Pump Kick from Sheamus last week, he’s decided to stay out of his business, odd decision from someone who’s always been quite a proud character.
As Finlay slid back into the ring Sheamus hit him with a boot and took control, from that point on this result was academic.
The Celtic Warrior picked up the win with the Razors Edge, then destroyed Finlay after the bell, ramming him into the steps and Pump Kicking him into the front row.
Sign of the Night looks like going to one waving about during this match, which read ‘Sheamus is whiter than my sign’.
Sheamus qualifies for the Breakthrough Battle Royal by Pinfall.
Segment 3
Teddy Long (and Vickie) on Thanksgiving
Teddy begins to explain what he is thankful for, but gets cut off by Vickie who is sitting next to him with her boyfriend Eric Escobar.
She says he should be thankful that Mr. McMahon made her his advisor, and the fans should be thankful that someone with her knowledge, experience and wisdom is once again in a position of power.
Escobar adds that it is always nice to have some eye candy around.
Teddy considers dumping some mashed potato over her, but Escobar prevents it from happening.
The action returns to ringside and King quips that Vickie will stop eating when she gets to the table cloth.
A promo for Jesse’s new TV show plays next.
Segment 4
Orton’s Conspiracy
After the video plays Jesse is shown in his dressing room where he is joined by Randy Orton.
Orton says he has been the victim of a conspiracy theory (see what they did there?) and Jesse says that wouldn’t surprise him, given the management in place.
Orton says he wants into the Battle Royal but Jesse stands firm and says that he can’t break the rules that he’s already set.
Ventura tells Orton that he likes what he does, retiring ‘legends’ who don’t know when to give it up, and says that he is proud he never returned to action after he retired, but he really can’t change the rules.
Orton leaves looking less than happy.
Match 3
Singles Match
C.M Punk
Vs.
John Cena
Punk hits the ring first for this match, which he apparently requested.
He says that he is thankful for being Straight Edge and even more thankful that he isn’t any of the people in the audience.
He talks about how gluttony is the main vice around Thanksgiving, then paints a scenario where people eat way too much, rely on medication to feel better, then eat some more.
Punk says that the people in the crowd have two choices, they can either be like him, or continue to be fat lazy slobs. The crowd seem to choose the latter.
Finally the Straight Edge Superstar has a dig at Cena and says that through his sober eyes, he CAN see him.
I can’t say as I’m overly excited to see this match, but at least it’s something fresh.
Before the match began Punk threw his t-shirt at Cena. The Champ held it up to a loud boo from the crowd, then took his own shirt off and held it up, which received a rapturous cheer.
Cena begins this match the more dominant force, throwing Punk around the ring and very nearly locking on the STF just before the commercials.
However, after the break Punk is firmly in control, with a Sleeper locked in using his legs.
Cena eventually powered out, by rising to his feet with Punk still on his shoulders, then dropping backwards, but Punk regained control seconds later with a clothesline.
Want to know more about these guys? Head over to the Spotlight On section, where there are articles on both men covering their WWE Careers so far.
During my own shameless cheap plug there Cena regained some momentum and this match has begun to swing backwards and forwards.
Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk flips onto his feet and goes for the GTS. Cena reverses into an STF, Punk could be in trouble here.
Punk somehow gets to the ropes and the action continues.
More back and forth action results in another reversed Attitude Adjustment, followed by a reversed High Knee in the corner, followed by an Attitude Adjustment from the second rope!
1..2..3! Cena picks up the victory.
This wasn’t bad actually.
John Cena wins by Pinfall.
Segment 5
The Boss and the Governor
Mr. McMahon enters Jesse’s office after apparently being invited and says that he is going to tell him the same thing he told Piper last week; he won’t fight him.
Jesse asks why he would want to lower himself to squaring off against Vince, then says that back when he wrestled Mr. McMahon was just an announcer.
Vince speculates that he must want him to be a guest star on Conspiracy Theory, or do some photo opportunities as he’s a billionaire.
Jesse explains that as a governor he was in charge of over 32 Billion a year, so running Vince’s ‘pipsqueak organisation’ is a piece of cake.
McMahon asks what he wanted with him and Ventura says that tonight is a throwback night, so he is going to do to him what his father did.
Jesse says that he knew McMahon Snr. and he never trusted Vince, putting him on the commentary desk because he wasn’t good enough to do anything else.
Ventura says that tonight they are both going back on the announce desk, just like the good old days, then hands him a tuxedo and a red bow-tie, saying he’d see him at ringside.
Match 4
Six Man Breakthrough Qualification Match
Chavo Guerrero, Jack Swagger & Chris Masters
Vs.
The Worlds Strongest Tag Team & R-Truth
I don’t know what it is, but I don’t find any of these guys half as exciting as people like Kingston, Ziggler, The Miz or Sheamus.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve had time to get used to (and therefore bored of) these guys.
I think I’d have prefered to see the heels win this one, as Masters is a kind of Tweener at the minute, with his pec dance gaining him popularity, but alas that wasn’t the way it went.
R-Truth picked up the victory over Masters with that ridiculous Spinning Elbow thing he does.
We need some more heels in the main event now.
The Worlds Strongest Tag Team & R-Truth Qualify for the Breakthrough Battle Royal by Pinfall.
Segment 6
DX Summoned
Backstage DX are standing side by side, with Triple H glaring at a worried looking Shawn.
Triple H asks what was with the Sweet Chin Music last night and HBK explains that it was for the title and he expected The Game to go for The Pedigree, which Triple H then reluctantly admits is true.
The two continue to discuss the matter until a ‘little person’ interrupts them and hands Michaels a note, which explains that Hornswoggle is planning to sue DX in ‘little peoples court’ next Monday.
Segment 7
The Viper Strikes
The next match up was scheduled to be Evan Bourne Vs. Primo in a Breakthrough Qualification match. However, as Primo made his way to the ring Randy Orton jumped him from behind and destroyed him.
Orton jumped into the ring and told the referee he was replacing Primo, until Jesse appeared on the titan tron.
He said that Orton had been on his case all night and it has paid off as it turns out that rules are meant to be broken.
Ventura says that if Orton can beat Bourne he’ll get his shot in the Breakthrough Battle Royal.
I really hope this isn’t one big cop out.
Match 5
Breakthrough Qualification Match
Evan Bourne
Vs.
Randy Orton
The result of this one was never really in doubt was it?
Bourne put up a valiant fight, but Orton put him down with the RKO to claim a spot in the Battle Royal.
Well, I did say we needed some heels in there.
Randy Orton qualifies for the Breakthrough Battle Royal by Pinfall.
Match 6
Mayflower Melee Match
‘The Pilgrims’
Vs.
‘The Indians’
After a promo video for The Marine 2 DVD starring Ted DiBiase Jr. (which seems to bear absolutely no relation to the first Marine flick, other than them both being Marines) Michelle McCool, Layla and Jillian Hall emerge dressed as Pilgrims.
Michelle complains about this being a big cliché but Justin Roberts cuts her off and introduces the special time keeper… The Gobbeldy Gooker.
A clip plays of The Gooker hatching out, then ‘The Indians’ (Melina, Mickie James and Kelly Kelly) make their entrance to Tatanka’s old music.
King apologised a couple of times throughout the match for the technically non-PC term ‘Indians’.
Shortly into the match Michelle McCool and Layla left the ringside area, clearly fed up with their frumpy attire and the way the match was going.
This left Jillian, who Melina quickly despatched to end the bout.
After the bell King jumped in the ring to interview Melina, followed closely by the Gobbeldy Gooker.
Melina says she has lots to be thankful for, but gets jumped by the giant turkey, which turns out to be Maryse in disguise.
Maryse beats her down with the head of the costume, then looks horrified at what she is wearing and removes the rest of it, drawing cheers from the crowd.
Maryse has apparently been depressed for the last few months after dropping the Divas Championship to Mickie James.
The Indians win by Pinfall.
Match 7
Tag Team Match
DX
Vs.
The Hart Dynasty (w/Natalya)
This match really demonstrates the generation gap present in the WWE at the minute, moreso than the DX/Legacy feud did.
I can remember watching Triple H take on The British Bulldog with The Rock as the guest referee, and I doubt many people can forget HBK and Bret Hart squaring off in Montreal in 97.
Now we have The Bulldogs son and Bret Hart’s protégé taking on the same competitors who are still at the top of the business.
This was a good match and demonstrated why The Hart Dynasty are quickly rising through the ranks, but it seems it wasn’t quite time for DX to lay down for them.
Just as Kidd and Smith went for the Hart Attack, HBK struck with a Sweet Chin Music and Triple H landed a Pedigree to wrap up the match.
After the bell Jericho’s music hit and he made his way out to the top of the ramp.
Once there he announced that Jesse Ventura has booked a Tag Title match for TLC, pitting DX against Jeri-Show.
HBK explains the context of the TLC PPV. It turns out that rather than every match being a TLC match, there are also going to be Tables matches, Ladder Matches and Chair Matches.
He says that the tag title match is going to be a full on TLC match and goes to deliver the DX mantra, but Jericho cuts him off and rants about the seriousness of the bout, pointing out that DX (at least the HBK/HHH version) have never held tag team gold.
DX win by Pinfall.
Segment 8
Batista Makes his Intentions Clear
Rey Mysterio’s music hits the speakers, but it’s Batista that appears and makes his way to the ring.
This would probably have had slightly more impact, had they not told us Batista would be coming out next to talk about how he annihilated Rey last night.
He says Mysterio won’t be here tonight because he’s currently in a hospital bed, and he has no one to blame but himself.
Batista complains about Rey stabbing him in the back, then classes himself as the bigger man because he didn’t snap him in half right there and then, and gave him the opportunity to walk away.
He says that as Rey chose to embarrass him, he chose to Powerbomb Rey until the EMT’s had to scrape him off a steel chair.
Batista says that someone from Raw better win the Breakthrough Battle Royal, because if someone from Smackdown does he’s going to hit the ring and make them wish they hadn’t, stating that The Undertaker and the World Heavyweight Championship are his.
Kane’s pyros explode and The Big Red Monster hits the ring.
He asks what constitutes disrespecting The Animal, wondering whether interrupting him and his empty threats is enough.
He says he hopes it is, because he’d love to see Batista attempt to make an example out of him.
Batista considers his options and decides that leaving the ring would be the best one for now.
Kane sets off his turnbuckle flames as The Animal reaches the top of the ramp and exits to the back.
It looks like Kane is a face again, great news!
Match 8
Tag Team Breakthrough Qualification Match
Cryme Tyme
Vs.
Legacy
I’d have to tip Legacy for this match to level up the ratio of heels to faces in the main event battle royal.
It will also make for more interesting viewing with all three members of Legacy gunning for a shot at the WWE Championship.
I can’t see Cryme Tyme being around much longer to be honest, they seem to be bouncing from one half baked rivalry to the next and as demonstrated in this match, just seem to be being used as fillers.
Legacy picked up the win as Cody Rhodes delivered the Cross Rhodes for the 3 count fall.
Legacy qualify for the Breakthrough Battle Royal by Pinfall.
Segment 9
The Divas on Thanksgiving
It looks like they’ve saved the best for last in these Thanksgiving segments.
Gail Kim attempts to explain what she’s thankful for but Alicia cuts her off and says she is thankful that she wasn’t the first one pinned at Survivor Series, like Kim was.
Gail and Alicia threaten to slam pies into each other’s faces but Santino stops them.
He says that as women they should be in the kitchen, cooking for their man.
Santino takes both pies, then says that there will be other Divas willing to cook for him.
The Bella’s enter and after another sexist comment, deliver two more pies to Santino’s face.
Next up is Eve Torres, who pies Santino after he bestows upon her the ‘honour’ of wiping his face.
Last up is Vickie Guerrero, who sneaks up on Santino with a huge chocolatey cream cake.
However, just as she is about to deliver it, Santino flails his arm in the air and slams the cake into her face, which she looks upset about, rather surprisingly.
Main Event Match
Breakthrough Battle Royal Match
Entrants:
Kofi Kingston
Sheamus
M.V.P
Mark Henry
R-Truth
Randy Orton
Cody Rhodes
Ted DiBiase
Before the match Jesse makes his way out to the commentary position and introduces Vince McMahon as his co-commentator.
Vince makes his way down to the ring in his tux and red dickie, and takes his place next to Ventura at the desk.
Once all the entrants are in the ring (Orton entering last, as you’d expect) the match gets under-way.
Ventura and Vince bicker about how tonight’s Guest Host bent the rules to allow Orton into the match, which results in The Body uttering the immortal line; ‘Shut up McMahon’.
Orton fled to the outside almost instantly and began loitering around the ringside area as the match continued in the ring and the bickering continued at the announce position.
This is exactly what the WWE commentary teams are missing at the moment; a ‘bad’ and a ‘good’ commentator. It just adds a little extra something to the match when someone is singing the praises of both the villain and the good guy.
Elimination : R-Truth (by Sheamus)
The first man eliminated is Smackdown’s only entrant R-Truth, shortly followed by…
Elimination : M.V.P (by Sheamus)
A quickfire double elimination there by Sheamus. The Celtic Warrior is showing some definite promise here.
Henry almost eliminated Sheamus, but Legacy prevented it and paid dearly.
Elimination : Cody Rhodes (by Mark Henry)
Elimination : Ted DiBiase (by Mark Henry)
However, as Henry dumped them over the top rope, Sheamus capitalised and single handedly eliminated the Worlds Strongest Man.
Elimination : Mark Henry (by Sheamus)
We’re down to three now!
Sheamus wisely stands back and allows Orton and Kofi to beat the hell out of each other, continuing the heated rivalry between the two.
The Celtic Warrior attempts to take advantage of Orton, but the Viper reverses and hits him with his trademark Backbreaker.
Kofi jumps on Orton in the corner but gets dumped over the ropes! The Ghanaian Sensation skins the cat and wraps his legs around Orton’s neck, flipping him over the ropes and sensationally out of this match!
Elimination : Randy Orton (by Kofi Kingston)
So we WILL see a fresh face challenge John Cena for the title!
We don’t have to wait long to find out who it will be either….
Elimination : Kofi Kingston (by Sheamus)
…as Sheamus takes advantage of a distracted Kofi, clotheslining him clear over the top rope to earn #1 contendership status.
It turns out that isn’t the end of Raw either! As next up we’ll have the official contract signing.
Sheamus wins the Breakthrough Battle Royal and is named #1 Contender for the WWE Championship.
Closing Segment
Contract Signing
Phew, it’s been a long Raw tonight, but I’m glad to say a really good one as well.
I used to look forward to 3 hour specials and this one has re-kindled my love for them.
Next week, Vern Troyer will Guest Host the show! Wow, from Big Brother UK to WWE Raw, that’s certainly a step up.
After the commercials Jesse Ventura is in the ring with Sheamus.
Jesse sings his praises then brings Cena to the ring for the contract signing.
As Ventura explains that the Celtic Warrior is #1 contender, a smirk passes across Cena’s face.
Sheamus demands Cena take him seriously and stand up.
Cena says that usually when #1 contenders stand across from him, it’s a future Hall of Famer like Triple H or HBK, not someone who retires people half his size, beats up announcers and simply got lucky.
He says that he earned his title, working for the last 8 years to get to the top of the industry, going toe to toe with the meanest and the toughest, and overcoming them all.
Cena tells Sheamus to consider the contract very carefully before he signs it, because he’s not an announcer and he won’t put him in a retirement home.
Sheamus says that he retires people and beats up Hall of Famers because he can, but that’s nothing in comparison to what he’s going to do to Cena when they face each other.
Both men sign the contract and Jesse Ventura announces the match for three weeks time at TLC.
Jesse then pulls a heel turn and says that he thinks there’s a conspiracy in the WWE to keep the belt on Cena, because he’s the perfect little figure to be champion.
Ventura says that he never got a shot at the title because he was a rebel, then as Cena goes to square up to him, Sheamus hits the Pump Kick and begins to destroy the current WWE Champ.
After Sheamus slams Cena through the table, Ventura announces that their match will be a Tables match and the show goes off the air.
The End Bit
I don’t normally put these end bits on Weekly Shows, but this one was worth it.
Raw seems to have steadily been getting better for quite a while now, but this was leaps and bounds ahead of most of the recent shows.
I’d love it if Ventura started showing up to manage Sheamus, but I doubt it’ll happen. Still, it’s nice to see a fresh face in the title picture and it’ll be interesting to see how they promote this, as at the minute it doesn’t feel like Sheamus has a chance of taking the gold.
Thanks for reading guys!
JayD (on behalf of the WWEBlog Team)
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