The Raw Review - 14th December 2009 (Slammy Awards Edition)
14/12/2009
Hello and welcome the Live Raw Review.
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On with the show!
Note: This is probably the longest Show I’ve ever covered (or at least it felt that way) so this Raw Review is pretty long. If you’d rather just see who picked up what Slammy Award then why not read my:
Slammy Awards 2009 Results Article
which cuts straight to the point!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: Dennis Mill-Who?
Segment 2: The Award for Best Tag Team goes to…
Match 1: The Roundtable Vs. Christian, Kane & Khali
Segment 3: The Award for Breakout Superstar goes to…
Match 2: Cody Rhodes Vs. Kofi Kingston
Match 3: Legacy Vs. Kingston & Rhodes
Segment 4: The Award for Shocker of the Year goes to…
Match 4: C.M Punk Vs. John Cena
Segment 5: The Award for Match of the Year 2009 goes to…
Match 5: Randy Orton Vs. The Undertaker
Segment 6: The Award for Guest Host of the Year goes to…
Segment 7: Jericho Meets Miller
Segment 8: The Award for Extreme Moment of the Year goes to…
Match 7: The Miz, Ryder & McIntyre Vs. Morrison, Tatsu & Henry
Match 8: Divas 7 on 7 Tag Match
Segment 9: The Award for Diva of the Year goes to…
Segment 10: The Award for Oh My Moment of the Year goes to…
Segment 11: Christmas Comes Early for DX
Main Event: John Cena Vs. Randy Orton
The Raw Review & Slammy Awards
Opening Segment
Dennis Mill-Who?
Tonight’s guest host Dennis Miller kicks off the show after a huge introduction from ring announcer Justin Roberts.
I’m quite surprised I’ve never heard of this guy given all the stuff he’s achieved, but I guess he’s more of an American treasure.
He made his way to the Slammy Award podium and cracked a few jokes, interspersed with some political stuff. I don’t really go for political stuff, but some of this was pretty funny.
After taking a pop at Obama and plugging Tribute to the Troops (this Saturday by the way), he led into the first Slammy Award of the night…
Segment 2
The Award for Best Tag Team goes to…
R-Truth and Jillian Hall are presenting tonight’s first Slammy Award.
What’s betting this segment will involve singing in some way or another?
It takes all of about 10 seconds for Jillian Hall to break into song, inspiring R-Truth to change the lyrics to his theme song from ‘What’s Up’ to ‘Shut up’.
The nominees this year are:
DX
Legacy (or Priceless if you prefer)
The Hart Dynasty
Jeri-Show
and the winner is…
Jeri-Show!
I have to say I’m slightly surprised, I thought they’d hand this to DX and please the crowd.
Just as I predicted, despite last week being touted as Jericho’s last night on Raw, he’s here tonight. Nice forward thinking on the promo front there creative.
Jeri-Show seem happy to claim the award despite losing their titles last night.
Jericho says not only are they the best tag team of 2009, they are the best tag team of all time. He thanks Edge for being cowardly and leaving him with the easy decision of choosing Show as a replacement partner.
Show says that despite the loss last night they are still the best tag team ever and they will regain (originally retain until he checked with Jericho, who corrected him) the titles from DX soon.
Jericho takes this opportunity to invoke their rematch clause, claiming it won’t be long until the gold is back around their deserving waists.
Match 1
6 Man Tag Team Match
The Ruthless Roundtable
Vs.
Christian, Kane & Khali
Regal and his feuding lackeys are in the ring when the show comes back from a break.
He explains that he’s told Christian to choose two partners to take his faction on, then invites the ECW Champion out to the ring to introduce his picks.
Christian emerges looking battered and bruised, then explains that he’s battered and bruised.
He says that his partners tonight have had their differences in the past, but they’ve put them aside in order to destroy Regal and Co tonight.
Kane and Khali emerge together, much to the shock of the 3-man commentary team (and the dismay of most of the WWEBlog Staff.)
Luckily this didn’t last long.
Jackson began dominating Kane and Team Regal looked to be in control, until Kozlov tagged himself into the match and instantly tasted The Big Red Machine’s boot.
Seconds later Khali got the tag and delivered a big chop to pick up the win.
Christian, Kane & Khali win by Pinfall.
Segment 3
The Award for Breakout Superstar of the Year goes to…
Tiffany and Teddy Long are next to grace the podium.
During the last match Matt Striker tipped Sheamus for this gong, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say they’ll give it to Drew McIntyre or Yoshi Tatsu.
Tiffany touts this award as the most important and sings the praises of ECW’s New Talent Initiative.
The nominees are:
Drew McIntyre
Sheamus
Yoshi Tatsu
Abraham Washington
and the winner is…
Wait, hold on a second!
Abraham Washington?
Doesn’t a Superstar have to wrestle?
Anyway, the winner is…
Sheamus!
Way to ruin a surprise there Matt Striker.
Sheamus appears wearing the WWE Championship and after collecting his award asks if the crowd are going to take him seriously now he has the WWE Championship.
He blows his own trumpet, saying he’s better than all the WWE Hall of Famers that never made it to the top of the tree.
Match 2
Singles Match
Cody Rhodes
Vs.
Kofi Kingston
Kingston’s shoulder is taped up pretty heavily after taking the Punt last night (didn’t it hit him in the elbow?) which makes it an early target for Cody as this match gets under way.
However, just moments into the bout Ted DiBiase hits the ring and a double team situation looks like kicking in until Evan Bourne evens the odds.
Tonight’s guest host emerges and jokingly (at least I hope it was jokingly) says he has just been awarded a Slammy for Best Guest Host Announcement, as this match is going to re-start as a tag team match.
Yeah, real ground breaking stuff there Dennis.
Kofi Kingston wins by Disqualification.
Match 3
Tag Team Match
Legacy
Vs.
Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne
As soon as this became a tag match I lost interest.
I can’t quite explain why but I did.
The long and short of it is Cody Rhodes picked up the win for Legacy with a Cross Rhodes on Bourne out of left field.
All of a sudden Kingston can’t catch a break.
Legacy win by Pinfall.
Segment 4
The Award for Shocker of the Year goes to…
Vickie and Santino are the next slightly odd couple to present an award.
The nominees are:
Randy Orton attacking Stephanie McMahon
Batista turning on Rey Mysterio
C.M Punk retiring Jeff Hardy
Sheamus attacking Mark Cuban
and the winner is…
C.M Punk.
I didn’t see that one coming.
I thought they’d give it to Batista and let him talk about how he got screwed out of the World Heavyweight Championship last night.
Punk says he had a list of people to thank, but he figured the crowd wouldn’t be polite enough to be quiet so he’s shortened it down to thanking… himself.
He talks about how great he is, how he has rid the WWE of Jeff Hardy and how he is about to earn himself the Superstar of the Year award.
Match 4
Superstar of the Year Semi-Final Match
C.M Punk
Vs.
John Cena
This year rather than the award simply being made on the basis of who has performed best, four guys have been selected to participate in a tournament to decide the Superstar of the Year.
A lot of people will no doubt have been looking forward to seeing Cena and Punk tangle after the match was announced earlier in the show, and those same lot of people will no doubt have been disappointed that Cena picked up the big W in under two minutes.
He reversed the GTS into a STF which eventually made Punk tap and ended his aspirations of picking up a second 2009 Slammy.
After the match Cena apologised to anyone he may have let down last night and said he’s going to come back stronger.
Oh boy, if I’d realised we were going to get this ‘bouncing back’ Cena promo again I’d have been pulling for him to retain the title.
He talks about how some people might have given up on him after last night and it’s their right to do so, then thanks the people that still stand behind him and promises that what happened at TLC will never happen again.
He says his Road to WrestleMania starts right now and he won’t be stopped in pursuit of the WWE Championship, then promises not to lose another match until he is WWE Champion.
I guess we know who the Superstar of the Year is going to be then. Yawn.
John Cena wins by Submission.
Segment 5
The Award for Match of the Year 2009 goes to…
Dennis Miller adds his name to the list of guest hosts who have made name-based faux pas at the start of this segment, introducing Triple H as ‘The Show’.
After returning the favour and calling Miller ‘Millburn’ The Game talks about defending the tag titles tonight before moving onto the nominees.
Hmmm, Triple H is out here, Shawn Michaels isn’t… I wonder what match is going to claim this Slammy…
The nominees are:
Shawn Michaels Vs. The Undertaker - WMXXV
John Cena Vs. Randy Orton - Breaking Point
Jeff Hardy Vs. Edge - Extreme Rules
Team Raw Vs. Team Smackdown - Bragging Rights
and the winner is…
Michaels Vs. Taker, obviously.
A couple of choices for this award, Team Raw Vs. Team Smackdown in particular, seemed a bit odd.
Jericho and Mysterio had some great matches (as much as I’m begrudged to admit it) and John Morrison has had half a dozen Match of the Year candidates against various opponents, so to not see them featured at all was a bit of a let down for me.
HBK comes out to accept the award from his partner.
He says he’s proud of what they achieved at WMXXV then issues a challenge to the Deadman.
Michaels says he knows he can beat him and lays down the gauntlet for a re-match at this years Mania event.
Match 5
Superstar of the Year Semi-Final Match
Randy Orton
Vs.
The Undertaker
It’s been quite a while since Taker and Orton went one on one, so it’s a shame that the outcome of this one is basically irrelevant after the statement made by Cena earlier tonight.
The match eventually spilled to the outside, where Legacy conveniently showed up and distracted The Deadman as he looked to have things in control.
As Taker turned his attention to DiBiase and Rhodes he took his eye off of Orton who promptly took advantage and hit an RKO, slithering back into the ring just in time to claim a victory by count out.
After the match Legacy threw Taker into the ring and attempted to wear him out, but instead got dumped out of the ring.
Orton didn’t escape either, taking a Chokeslam which is sure to play a part in his match against Cena later on the show.
Randy Orton wins by Count Out.
Segment 6
The Award for Guest host of the Year goes to…
Yeah you read it right, they’re doing a guest host of the year award.
I can’t imagine it’ll be greatly contested. If it’d have been Worst Guest Host of the Year Award or Plug of the Year Award, then we might have had a fight on our hands.
The Nominees are:
Bob Barker
Seth Green
Shaquille O’Neal
The Osbournes
and the winner is…
Bob Barker.
Bob appears on the Tron from what I assume is his home and thanks the fans for voting for him (even though we didn’t.)
He talks about how everyone at the show made him feel welcome and how the appearance sold lots of copies of his book, then wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and delivers the rather cryptic message of ‘Go for it!’.
Mr McMahon, who for some reason presented this pointless award says he will indeed go for it.
He asks Dennis who he would name as Guest Host if he were going for it and Miller says Bret Hart.
Vince says the last time Bret was in the WWE he screwed himself and he probably wouldn’t be interested in doing it, although the fans seem to want it to happen.
Segment 7
Jericho Meets Miller
Backstage Jericho enters the Guest Hosts office and interrupts Dennis, who was on his cell phone to someone.
Jericho thanks him for doing something none of the other hosts have done, and that is shown him respect.
He says he understands Miller respects him and that is why he granted him and Show a tag title rematch.
Miller tells him he got it totally wrong and explains that he booked that match because he wants Jericho off Raw as he is a ‘Black Hole’ sucking all the atmosphere out of Monday nights.
Match 6
Unified Tag Team Championship Match
DX (c)
Vs.
Jeri-Show
I’d honestly love nothing more than for Jeri-Show to take the titles back here, but I really doubt it’ll happen.
Great news! DX have been summoned to Little Peoples Court next week, that’s if they get time to fit it into the show this time.
This was the most bizarre match I’ve ever seen.
As things got started DX engaged in a little tomfoolery (as Matt Striker described it) with the referee.
HBK knelt down behind the official and Triple H shoved him over, but unfortunately the man in the stripes didn’t see the funny side of it and called for the disqualification.
As Jeri-Show looked on in dismay DX naively explained how they had just screwed them out of their one and only rematch.
HBK says that Jericho is now technically trespassing on Raw and should be ejected.
Triple H then brought out a selection of Superstars who supposedly hate Jericho as much as he does:
Cryme Tyme
Shelton Benjamin
Finlay
The Hurricane
Christian
R-Truth
and they escorted him out of the arena dressed in full DX regalia as the Tag Champs wrapped things up in the ring.
Jeri-Show win by Disqualification. Therefore DX retain the Unified Tag Team Championships.
Segment 8
The Award for Extreme Moment of the Year goes to…
Carlito, Chris Masters and Eve presented this award, and as funny as seeing Masters annoy Carlito with his pec dance was, I’m just about losing the will to go on by now.
The nominees are:
Kofi Kingston’s Boom Drop on Orton
The Big Show Slams Cena into a Spotlight
Jeff Hardy’s Ladder Dive
Triple H’s Home Invasion
and the winner is…
Jeff Hardy’s Ladder Dive.
The crowd popped like crazy when they thought Jeff might make an appearance to accept this award, but then calmed down significantly when Matt appeared to claim it in his honour.
Carlito interrupts his acceptance speech with a swift punch to the temple, then accepts the award for himself.
Chris Masters applies the Masterlock to reclaim the award, which he passes back to Matt as the segment ends.
Match 7
6 Man Tag Team Match
The Miz, Zack Ryder & Drew McIntyre
Vs.
John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu & Mark Henry
Man Raw seems to be going on for an age tonight, it feels like they’re just throwing things in at random now to fill up the show.
The good guys prevailed here with Tatsu picking up the win in a fairly short encounter.
John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu & Mark Henry win by Pinfall.
Match 8
Divas 7 on 7 Tag Match
The Bellas, Mickey James, Maria, Melina, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly
Vs.
Michelle McCool, Layla, Rosa Mendes, Maryse, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix & Natalya
See what I mean about cramming as much as possible into this show?
I’ve tried my best not to use the Fast Forward button in this show so far, but this one tipped me over the edge.
However, I didn’t have to spool far to see Mickey James beat Rosa Mendes before half the Divas had even got involved.
Team Mickey win by Pinfall.
Segment 9
The Award for Diva of the Year goes to…
M.V.P ended up presenting this award on his own after Goldust insulted the ladies in the ring and left.
The Nominees are:
All the Divas in the previous match.
and the winner is…
Maria.
The fans apparently voted on this one. I would have gone for Maryse myself.
As Maria accepted the ward Batista pulled a Kanye West, interrupting and talking about how he got screwed last night at TLC.
Segment 10
The Award for Oh My Moment of the Year goes to…
Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas and Big Dick Johnson presented this award, and the segment leading up to the nominations should have been a candidate in itself.
The nominees are:
Chris Masters Dancing Pecs
HBK The Chef
Vintage Michael Cole
Santino’s Thanksgiving Pies
Didn’t this used to be the Oh My God award?
and the winner is…
Michael Cole
Upon hearing the result Cole goes crazy, dry humping King with delight before sprinting up to the top of the ramp to claim his prize (and a hug from Dick Johnson.)
Cole kind of dedicates the trophy to J.R, but then says that it’s out with Slobberknockers and in with Vintage Oh My’s.
Dennis Miller comes out and delivers one final plug before calling it a night.
If you want to know what myself and the WWEBlog Informant thought of all the Slammy results, check out our special Slammys 2009 Article!
Segment 11
Christmas Comes Early for DX
Earlier in the show Dennis Miller joked that we were an hour into the 17 hour spectacle that is The Slammys.
At least I think it was a joke, the way things are going he could have been telling the truth.
DX hock some more WWE gear before Hornswoggle enters with slapstick ramifications.
Main Event Match
Superstar of the Year Match
John Cena
Vs.
Randy Orton
Yes!
We’re finally at the main event, I didn’t think it’d ever come.
This match clearly won’t be an epic encounter, as the show is all but over time-wise.
Cena starts the match like a man possessed and controls things until Orton dumps him to the outside, turning the tables.
Things went back and forth with both men grabbing near falls, but it was a missed Punt and an Attitude Adjustment that decided the outcome and led to Cena becoming Superstar of the Year.
Sheamus graced us with his presence once more after the final bell, goading Cena with the WWE Championship but refusing to make his way down the ramp to the ring.
John Cena wins by Pinfall and becomes the 2009 Superstar of the Year.
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