The Raw Review – 11th January 2010
11/01/2010
Hello and welcome the Raw Review.
Use the quick links below to jump to a specific match or segment.
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: A Knockout Night
Match 1: Kelly Kelly Vs. Alicia Fox
Match 2: Legacy Vs. Henry & Bourne
Segment 2: More Closure for HBK?
Segment 4: Who’s Winning the Rumble?
Match 3: Jack Swagger Vs. Santino Marella
Match 4: Randy Orton Vs. John Cena Vs. Kofi Kingston
Segment 5: Mike Tyson Interviewed
Match 5: Eve Vs. Katie Lea Burchill
Main Event: DX Vs. Jericho & ???
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
A Knockout Night
The Baddest Man on the Planet, Iron Mike Tyson kicks off the show tonight.
After showing clips of his last foray into the WWE, when he helped Austin take the title from Michaels at WrestleMania XIV and a rather quiet but audible ‘You Screwed Shawn’ chant, Tyson says that tonight is going to be good, before being interrupted by Sheamus.
The Celtic Warrior makes his way to the ring and says that Tyson is nothing but a washed up ex-champion, and as he holds the WWE Championship, that makes him The Baddest Man on the Planet.
Tyson drops his microphone and feint’s to punch, sending Sheamus cowering. Sheamus says that if he plans on doing that again he better pray he makes contact.
Just as the two look set to go Randy Orton’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring.
Orton says that he isn’t interested in making a sports centre moment like some and instead is here so that Tyson can make him #1 Contender for the WWE Championship and book him in a title match at The Royal Rumble.
Cena is next out from the back.
After a couple of cheap pops Cena says he’s also here for the WWE Championship and the fact is he’s beaten everyone in the ring, including Tyson during his youth on ‘Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.’
Just when it looked like everyone with a claim on the title had said their piece Kofi Kingston heads to the ring.
Orton says that as Kofi lost to him last week, he has no place in this discussion.
Kingston says that’s true, but unlike Cena and Orton he has never had a WWE Championship run, or even a shot, so he is the most deserving now.
During Kofi’s delivery the crowd showed their distaste for Cena and their support for Orton with a couple of chants.
Once Kingston had finished his bit Sheamus said that Tyson often had months between title defences, and as The Celtic Warrior is a far better champion the obvious thing to do would be to give him the Rumble off and let someone from Raw earn a title shot there.
Tyson took offence to Sheamus comparing them and instead booked a Triple Threat between Orton, Kingston and Cena to determine who would face Sheamus at the Rumble.
Match 1
Divas Championship Tournament Match
Kelly Kelly
Vs.
Alicia Fox
Oh Joy, a completely dull Divas match to kick off Raw.
I’m not even going to waste time explaining how this match went down, but Alicia Fox won with a Powerbomb.
Instead I’d like to use this time to let everyone know about the People’s Choice Award!
The voting in the WWEBlog Awards For Theatrical Achievement (W.A.F.T.A’s) is well under-way amongst the WWEBlog staff and a select few guest judges, but we’re giving you all the chance to get involved too!
Simply click the banner below and it’ll take you to the People’s Choice Voting Page, where you can cast your vote for the Superstar/team you feel most deserving of an award for their work throughout 2009.
The poll closes on the 1st February so don’t delay in getting your vote in!
The People’s Choice Award 2009
Alicia Fox wins by Pinfall and progresses in the Divas Championship Tournament.
Match 2
Tag Team Match
Legacy
Vs.
Mark Henry & Evan Bourne
Before the match Cody and Ted talked about The Royal Rumble.
Cody said that last year Legacy were 3 of the final 4 in the Rumble and it was Orton’s turn, but this year it’s a different story.
DiBiase dives in and says he couldn’t agree more, because this year it’s his turn.
Cody looks disgruntled, leading DiBiase to ask him if he disagreed then throw in a cheap plug for his ‘blockbuster’ movie The Marine 2, which he claims surpasses the original Marine in every single way.
Rhodes says that his 5th Grade graduation video is superior to the original Marine, so he fails to see his point.
DiBiase clarifies by saying that what he means is that he is going to win the Royal Rumble.
In other news, it appears that Evan Bourne is filling an M.V.P shaped hole now Henry’s former partner is on a U.S Title push.
Legacy showed their skills as a tag team, isolating Evan Bourne for the majority of the match, which kept the injured Mark Henry on the apron.
Henry did eventually get the tag, but it ended up being in vain as as during a free for all Rhodes hit Bourne with a Cross-Rhodes to seal the win.
As they headed up the ramp Rhodes and DiBiase shook hands, pasting over the ever growing cracks in the faction once more.
Legacy win by Pinfall.
Segment 2
More Closure for HBK?
Backstage Shawn Michaels is once again pondering whether or not he should approach a demon from his past.
Triple H voices his concerns at approaching ‘Mad’ Mike Tyson, the guy who knocked HBK out ‘for four years’, but Michaels says he’s sure it’s a good idea after how well things went with Bret last week and exits as the show cuts to commercials.
Segment 3
No.
During the commercials Shawn has made his way to Tyson’s office.
He explains that what he went through last week was an uplifting experience and how great it felt to finally get closure on something that has been up in the air for so long.
He says that tonight he’d like them to have the same experience, forgiving Tyson for knocking him out all those years ago.
Tyson says that’s wonderful, but the only problem is he doesn’t need his forgiveness because he enjoyed knocking him out, he doesn’t regret it and he’d love to do it again.
Just as the two begin to square off Chris Jericho enters (are you kidding me?) and tells Michaels to hit the bricks as Tyson doesn’t like him.
HBK asks what he’s doing here and he explains that he and Tyson have become friends due to them both being persecuted by the unwashed masses.
Furthermore, DX are going to have a special match tonight and if they lose Jericho can appear on whatever brand he likes.
HBK asks what this match is and Tyson drops the bombshell that for the first time in over 5 years he is going to return to the ring to team up with Jericho.
DX Vs. Jericho and Tyson? OK, I’m listening….
Segment 4
Who’s Winning the Rumble?
Well, it appears Jack Swagger, if his own hyped up ramblings are to be believed.
He sprinted around the ring before explaining that he is the perfect candidate for the Rumble match and would have won it last year had he not been defending his ECW Championship at the event instead.
He guarantees that no one on any of the three has the skills to eliminate him, and therefore issues an ‘All American American American American’ Challenge (I think he said it one too many times) for someone to come and throw him over the top rope.
Santino Marella appears and claims he was just on the way to the ring to issue an ‘All Italian Italian’ challenge, so he’s going to drop Swagger like ‘a bike with no kickstand’.
Match 3
The All American American American American Challenge
Jack Swagger
Vs.
Santino Marella
This ‘match’ was almost as ridiculous as it’s name, and nowhere near as long.
After some back and forth Swagger threw Santino over the top, but he held on and used Swagger’s own momentum to send him over and to the mats on the outside.
Basically a completely pointless segment and ‘match’.
Santino Marella wins by Elimination.
Match 4
WWE Championship #1 Contendership Match
Randy Orton
Vs.
John Cena
Vs.
Kofi Kingston
The bell had barely rung in this match when the crowd burst into a chorus of ‘Cena Sucks’, however moments later after some nice periods of action the fickle fans had changed their mind, cheering for him instead.
With Orton on the outside former allies Kingston and Cena looked all set to go, until Sheamus appeared at the top of the ramp, drawing the attention of both men.
The Viper used this as an opportunity to get back in the match, jumping both of them from behind as the show went to commercials.
As the show returned the pace of the action picked up.
Orton hit Cena with the rope-assisted DDT, then Kofi hit Orton with a top-rope Cross Body.
Orton then caught Kofi with his trademark Backbreaker before Cena slowed The Viper down allowing Kingston to recover and land the SOS, which again failed to grab the 3 count.
Cena then locked Kofi in the STF, but Orton eventually made the save and the match continued.
Cena almost caught Orton with the Attitude Adjustment, but Kingston prevented it from happening and moments later landed a Boom Drop and Trouble in Paradise on Cena.
The force of the shot sent Cena to the outside, where oblivious to the official Cody Rhodes appeared and Dropkicked the steel steps into his head.
As Kofi gained the upper hand over Orton in the ring Rhodes distracted the referee, allowing DiBiase to slide into the ring and take Kingston out.
Orton landed a brutal RKO moments later to pick up the victory and the #1 contendership.
So we have an all-heel WWE Championship match at The Rumble?
Surely that HAS to spell the beginning of the end for Legacy, just to make it moderately interesting.
Randy Orton wins by Pinfall and becomes the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship.
Segment 5
Mike Tyson Interviewed
Backstage Josh Mathews gets his biggest interview yet, and he couldn’t look more miserable about it.
He asks Tyson about tonight’s main event, but before Tyson can respond Hornswoggle enters in his DX Army gear.
Tyson tells the little guy that if he sees him in tonight’s main event he’s going to tear his insides out, amongst other things.
Hornswoggle leaves and the show cuts to commercials.
Sucks to be Josh Mathews.
Segment 6
Caged Animals
Backstage The Miz talks about how when he first came to the WWE he got no respect from anyone.
He explained how he was banned from the WWE Superstars locker room for 6 months and how he used to walk down the halls and people like JBL would sarcastically call him ‘a gift from god.’
He talks about how things have changed since he claimed the title before turning his attention to M.V.P as he slowly makes his way down to the ring.
He says that if it was up to him M.V.P would still be in jail as he doesn’t believe in second chances because he’s been perfect from day one.
As the crowd boo he says he’d rather them hate him for everything he is, than love him for something he is not; the most captivating and entertaining Superstar on the Raw Brand.
He lays into M.V.P a little more then wraps things up by saying that everyone in the WWE Universe will respect their United States Champion because He’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME.
M.V.P makes his way out from the back and says that he’s never tried to dodge his past, but instead has embraced it in an attempt to stop other people from going down that road.
M.V.P gets to the ring and strips down to his vest while the crowd chant ‘Miz is Awesome’, I have to agree.
The Miz calls M.V.P tame and he responds by talking about his 9 and a half year stint ‘caged up’, before telling Miz to open the cage if he dares.
The two end up brawling with M.V.P getting the better of it, sending The Miz flying out of the ring with a Drive By.
This whole segment had an ‘animal’ theme running through it, but truth be told it was completely lame so I just chose to ignore it.
Match 5
Divas Championship Tournament Match
Eve
Vs.
Katie Lea Burchill
So it appears ‘Free Agent’ Katie Lea Burchill has been picked up by Raw.
No mention of Paul though.
Maryse joined the commentary team as she will be facing the winner of this match in the Divas Tournament and to be fair to her, she spoke the truth, describing this match as ‘boring’.
Katie Lea showed clear signs of being one of the most talented Divas in the WWE right now, but despite that she still jobbed to the clunky botchfest that is Eve.
Eve wins by Pinfall and progresses in the Divas Championship Tournament.
Segment 7
Retribution?
Backstage Carlito is trying his best to score a date with Gail Kim when Mr. McMahon walked past on his way to the ring.
After the commercials Vince made his way to the ring while clips of last week’s shocking conclusion replay on the titan tron.
He starts by saying that he wants to put to bed the rumours that he’s hired extra security to prevent Bret from getting to the show tonight, the simple fact is that Bret hasn’t shown up tonight because he’s intimidated.
Vince says that he doesn’t play nice and he doesn’t do the whole forgive and forget thing, so while in 97 Bret might have screwed Bret, last week he screwed Bret.
He says that Bret wanted closure so he’s going to give it them, then tells the fans they can rest assured that they will never EVER see Bret Hart in the WWE again.
I’d say there are going to be more than a few pissed off fans if Bret doesn’t show in the last 15-20 minutes of the broadcast.
Vote for your Favourite Superstar Now!
Main Event Match
Tag Team Match
DX
Vs.
Chris Jericho & Mike Tyson
So the stipulation here is that if DX lose, Jericho can appear on whatever brand he likes, regardless of whether he has the unified Tag Team Championships.
I’m getting kinda bored of this now.
Speaking of things I’m getting bored of, Michaels once again issued a challenge to The Undertaker during DX’s usual pre-match promo, demanding an answer by next week.
Not that I’d like to be the one to tell him, but Tyson looks like he’s carrying a little extra weight these days, although I still think he could knock out pretty much anyone in the WWE locker room in a split second.
Tyson kicks off the match and immediately gets the better of HBK, leading to a tag for The Game, who also struggles to get the better of the former Heavyweight Champion of the World.
As the two brawl Jericho tags himself in, allowing DX to finally get into the match as the action begins to go back and forth.
Jericho gets the upper hand and brings Tyson back into the match, but just as he looks to go after HBK Hornswoggle’s music hits.
The little guy emerges in full boxing gear and all 5 men end up in the ring.
Jericho tells DX that they might have backup, but he’s got The Baddest Man on the Planet backing him up.
As Jericho continues to run his mouth Tyson tears off his t-shirt to reveal a DX one underneath! So it wasn’t extra weight, it was extra T-Shirts!
Jericho turned to face his partner only to suffer a similar fate to HBK all those years ago.
DX covered to get the 3 and the party began, with Tyson’s son joining them all in the ring to celebrate as the show went off the air.
This was pretty good, I don’t think we’ve had a heel to face guest host yet and Tyson seems to have been the perfect choice.
No Bret was pretty disappointing though, I think not having him there at all tonight will probably have hurt the WWE in its battle against TNA.
DX win by Pinfall.
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