The Raw Review - 8th March 2010
08/03/2010
Hello and welcome the Raw Review.
Use the quick links below to jump to a specific match or segment.
If you’re following the event with us live keep refreshing as updates will come through sporadically depending on match and segment length.
We’d still love to know what you think about all aspects of our site, so please feel free to get in touch via the Contact Us page, or any of the usual email addresses.
On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: The Deadman Cometh
Match 1: Eve, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim Vs. Alicia Fox, Katie Lea & Maryse
Match 2: ShowMiz Vs. John Morrison & R-Truth
Segment 4: John Cena Interviewed
Match 3: Priceless Vs. Randy Orton
Match 4: Evan Bourne Vs. William Regal
Main Event Match: Vince McMahon Vs. John Cena
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
The Deadman Cometh
The Undertaker makes a rare appearance on Monday Night Raw to kick off tonight’s show, taking his sweet time to get to the ring as only The Deadman can.
Once in the ring he directs his words towards Shawn Michaels.
He says that last week was symbolic of what HBK’s life has become since becoming victim 17 at last year’s WrestleMania.
Strangely the crowd burst into a HBK chant after this statement, but Taker lets it pass before he continues.
He says that Shawn is now followed by a dark cloud and his obsession with getting rid of it will cost him the ultimate price; his storied career.
Taker says that it brings him no joy in saying this, but the fact is that at this year’s WrestleMania Shawn’s career will Rest. In…
Before he can finish Shawn’s music hits and he heads to the ring, once again in ‘regular’ clothes rather than his DX getup.
Shawn explains how he did indeed have a dark cloud hovering above his head, but he had an epiphany and that’s why he HAD to cost the Deadman his title at Elimination Chamber.
However, when The Undertaker got involved in his match last week he had no need to, and that made him realise that for the first time ever The Deadman displayed fear.
Taker tells him to choose his words carefully but Shawn continues to talk about how he senses fear, and how he’s confident he can win, because if he wasn’t he wouldn’t have put it all on the line for one more shot.
Taker considers whether he is looking at a man who exudes confidence, or pitiful desperation.
Shawn says that last year he would have taken a victory in any way, shape or form, but this year with so much on the line he wants a decisive victory, which is why he proposes they make it a no count out, no disqualification match.
After some deliberation The Undertaker accepts, then goes on a huge growly rant about how he will end the career of Mr. WrestleMania and keep his streak alive.
HBK wraps things up by saying that after WrestleMania the dark cloud will return, but it’ll be over The Undertaker’s head, and it’ll contain the image of him ending the streak.
Match 1
Singles Match
Eve, Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim
Vs.
Alicia Fox, Katie Lea & Maryse
I have to admit I paid little to no attention during this bout.
We’re currently working on getting some WrestleMania features prepared and I spent most of this match tinkering around with them, so I apologise but I don’t think I missed much.
Eve picked up the victory over Maryse with an Arm Bar submission after the other Divas had cleared the ring.
They are really pushing Eve and I can’t for the life of me work out why.
Eve wins by Submission.
Segment 2
Assistant Assault
Backstage tonight’s host Criss Angel is hanging out with Hornswoggle (who surprisingly still has DX gear on, I assume in order to keep the stuff selling) when who else but The Bella’s enter.
They ask to be his assistants tonight, but he tells them that he never uses twins for his tricks.
He pulls a thread from one of their dresses and proceeds to feed it into his mouth and pull it out of his eye, while the twins chatter about how good it is.
Jillian Hall enters and proclaims that if anyone is to be his assistant tonight it’s going to be her, because she can sing his introduction as he comes on stage.
She starts to sing but he tells her to stop, then uses some magic to take away her voice, pleasing everyone in the process.
I hope that’s an angle they run with.
Vote for your Favourite Superstar Now!
Segment 3
Walking Miracles
The Miz and The Big Show are next to make their way out from the back, but The Miz doesn’t even wait until he’s in the ring to begin talking.
He explains how John Morrison & R-Truth ‘earned’ the right to face ShowMiz for the titles at WrestleMania XXVI.
He says that not since The British Bulldog & Lex Luger teamed up at WrestleMania XI to bore the millions in attendance has a team with less credibility got a tag title shot at the biggest PPV of the year.
He says they would rather face The Bushwhackers because at least they were a real team. He casts shame on all the ‘legitimate’ teams in the locker room for not being good enough to earn a shot, then chastises the crowd for not realising what is standing in-front of them in the ring; walking miracles.
Match 2
WrestleMania Preview Match
ShowMiz
Vs.
John Morrison & R-Truth
What? Wait?
So let me get this straight, this ‘WrestleMania’ preview is actually the exact match we’re set to see, just without the gold on the line?
Well, no, it turns out it wasn’t.
The Miz took a tumble to the outside courtesy of Morrison & Truth, then the match quickly ended in disqualification for apparently no reason, other than the match had broke down (which most tag matches do anyway without any action from the referee.)
The action continued on the outside despite the bell ringing, and saw Morrison & Truth get the better of the gold holders before delivering a little speech of their own afterwards.
Morrison declared that they just showed how much of a real tag team they are and Truth confirmed this as ‘the troof.’
I’m not sure why they even made this a match, it would have been better served as a segment that turned into a brawl.
Match ends in a No-Contest.
Segment 4
John Cena Interviewed
Josh Mathews catches up with John Cena backstage after clips of his and Batista’s altercation from last week played.
Mathews asked him why The Animal left him speechless last week and Cena confirmed that it was because he’d told the truth.
Cena admitted that he’d never beaten Batista and said the only thing he can do is go out there at WrestleMania and do something he’s never done before.
As he headed off Mathews called him back and asked if he expected Batsita to get involved in his match later tonight against Vince McMahon.
Cena said that not only did he expect it, he was counting on it.
Segment 5
Mind Bending
Back in the Guest Host’s office Evan Bourne is thanking Criss Angel for putting him in a Money in the Bank Qualification match against Regal later tonight when Skip Sheffield and the aforementioned Mr. Regal enter.
Sheffield says hello to Bourne, who promptly leaves after Regal tells him he’ll see him in the ring.
Skip then asks Angel to show him a mind trick, and Regal calls him an idiot, saying he gets flummoxed by the automatic water dispensers in the airport.
Criss gets them to write a number on a piece of card, then promptly guesses it by ‘getting inside’ Regal’s mind (56).
Skip gets overly excited and tells Regal he owes him a Travis Tritt CD.
I have to admit, I quite like Skip Sheffield, he and Regal work well together as an ‘odd couple’.
Match 3
2 on 1 Handicap Match
Priceless
Vs.
Randy Orton
As Rhodes and DiBiase made their way to the ring Orton blasted them both from behind, making his intentions clear for this match.
Orton got a huge pop as he struck and although I don’t agree with it in the slightest, I can see a face turn working well for him, at least in the short term.
Orton dominated the early stages of the match, prompting Priceless to re-think their strategy which quickly became effective as they began to cheat to get ahead.
For the best part of the match Orton took quite a beating from his two trainees, while the crowd got behind him more and more the longer it continued.
Both DiBiase and Rhodes got long 2 counts over their former mentor during this period, and it was clear to see that the booking team had told them to use all their ‘Orton-esque’ characteristics against him to really push how well he had ‘trained’ them.
Orton finally got back into it at the climax of the match and began to turn things around in his favour, putting DiBiase down with his trademark Backbreaker before calling for the RKO.
However Rhodes spoiled the party and caused just enough of a distraction to allow DiBiase to hit Dream Street and pick up a momentous, if not predictable victory over Randy Orton.
After the bell Cody picked Orton up and hit Cross-Rhodes before the pair stood victorious over his body and struck the ‘Classic Randy Orton’ pose.
Great match but I’m struggling to see where this is heading, unless Orton teams up with Rhodes and DiBiase Snr…
Priceless win by Pinfall.
Segment 6
Batista Interviewed
Backstage Batista is watching a monitor when Josh Mathews approaches him and asks his opinion on Cena’s previous comments.
Batista says that he thinks Cena has a lot going through his head but tonight is purely about him and Vince, and he gives his word as WWE Champion that he won’t get involved in the match.
Finally, Batista asks Josh to pass on a message of luck to Cena, because he looks like he needs a confidence booster
Segment 7
Celtic Games
We were told earlier in the night that Triple H would address the severe beating he took at the hands of Sheamus last week, and it looks like that time is now.
Sure enough as The Game enters we’re treated to clips of the brutal attack, and once we return to the action he’s poised and waiting in the ring with a microphone.
He kicks off by saying that he respects the attack Sheamus gave to him last week, because he’d have done the same thing if someone had handed a huge beating to him in the Elimination Chamber.
As Triple H goes to continue Sheamus hits the ring and squares up to him, pulling the microphone away.
He says that if Triple H thought what happened last week was ‘making a statement’ he should take him on at WrestleMania, if he’s got the guts.
Triple H says that Sheamus has probably had the best first year of anyone ever to set foot in the WWE ring, but the fact is he’s never been to ‘the big dance’ and until he proves himself on that stage all his other achievements mean nothing.
The Game says that he’s been exactly where Sheamus is now, explaining how he too went after the biggest name in the federation (The Ultimate Warrior) and got absolutely flattened at WrestleMania, which sent him spiralling into obscurity.
He explains how it took him a long time to scrape his way back up out of that hole until he became ‘THE guy’ that everyone wants to make a name for themselves against at WrestleMania.
He says that only a few have succeeded in doing that, but those that do saw their careers take off like a rocket, for example Cena and Batista.
He asks Sheamus if he has the guts to lay it all on the line for one shot at becoming immortal at WrestleMania, then tells him he has to be sure of himself before he takes that gamble.
Sheamus considers his options then swings for The Game, but ends up on the receiving end of a Clothesline over the top rope.
The two men end up brawling in and out of the ring, before Sheamus cut his losses and headed back up the ramp after a Spinebuster from The Game.
Segment 8
Marella Magic
Backstage Santino Marella is in the office with Criss Angel (lets just run through the checklist real quick. Hornswoggle: Check. Bella’s: Check. Jillian Hall: Check. Santino: Check. Hmm, looks like Chris Masters is missing off the list.) claiming to be a big fan.
Santino says he comes from a long line of Italian magicians, then helps Angel perform a trick where a sushi knife is placed underneath one of four polystyrene cups.
Angel smashes through the cups, avoiding the one with the knife.
So far Angel has done pretty much nothing in terms of Guest Hosting duties.
Match 4
Money in the Bank Qualification Match
Evan Bourne
Vs.
William Regal (w/Skip Sheffield)
Christian and Heath Slater joined the commentary team for this match, although Slater seemingly wasn’t deemed important enough to have a headset bestowed upon him, and instead just stood around looking like a spare part.
Christian hyped the Money in the Bank match while Regal and Bourne put on a fairly decent battle in the ring and Skip Sheffield played the part of cheerleader.
Unsurprisingly Bourne picked up the win and qualified for the match at Mania, which I think was the right decision.
As much as I like Regal, Bourne seems the more sensible pick for a high flying match and I’m hoping there will be an NXT presence at the show anyway.
Evan Bourne wins by Pinfall and qualifies for the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania XXVI.
Main Event Match
Singles Match
John Cena
Vs.
Vince McMahon
Great news! Stone Cold Steve Austin will be Guest Hosting next week and it’ll be a WrestleMania Rewind night, with various Mania classics being re-wrestled for our enjoyment.
Finally a host with a little personality, who genuinely wants to be there and won’t just be part of a string of tedious cheap segments.
Speaking of which, Angel made his way to the ring before the match.
He seemed much more hyped up than he had been in his previous segments and after building a little rapport with the crowd introduced, John Cena and Mr. McMahon.
Didn’t Vince tell Jesse Ventura his wrestling days were over a month or so back on Raw? Yeah I thought he did, oh well, it’s not the first time we’ve seen a swerve like this from The Boss.
Vince took the stick from Angel and directed a tirade towards Bret Hart, telling him to enjoy the match before giving praise to Angel and saying his victory over Cena will be no illusion tonight.
Before calling for the bell Vince revealed that actually tonight is a Handicap Gauntlet Match. Vladimir Kozlov makes his way to the ring and the match begins.
Main Event Match 1.1
Handicap Gauntlet Match
John Cena
Vs.
Vince McMahon, Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger & Mark Henry
Kozlov destroyed Cena then tagged in Vince, who promptly covered Cena but only picked up a 2 count.
The ‘Chosen One’, Drew McIntyre hit the ring next and did some more damage before tagging Vince in who again covered for a 2 count.
Jack Swagger was next to be called out from the back (I have absolutely no clue what’s happening here, Kozlov and McIntyre have left now) and after a flurry of offence from Cena, took the #1 contender down and tagged in the boss as the previous Superstars had also done.
Vince once again covers for the 2 count, then calls for Mark Henry, who clearly didn’t look happy at being involved in the match.
Henry seemed to be battling with his conscience as he dragged Cena to his feet and hit him with a Worlds Strongest Slam, before tagging Vince in once more.
Another cover, another 2 count, which this time prompted McMahon to head to the outside, grab the ring bell and make this a No DQ match.
Main Event Match 1.2
No Disqualification Handicap Gauntlet Match
John Cena
Vs.
Vince McMahon, Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry & Batista
As Vince climbed back into the ring with the bell Mark Henry cut him off and tried his best to persuade the Boss not to go ahead with the attack.
McMahon then handed Henry the bell instead and told him to use it, but before he could make a decision either way Batista hit the ring and took him out with a Spear.
As The Animal focused in on Cena Kofi Kingston headed down the ramp, earning his friend a slight reprieve.
Batista dispatched Kingston in due course, but then got hit with a flurry from Cena who turned his attention to the Boss.
However, just as he lifted him up for the Attitude Adjustment Batista struck with a Spear followed by a Batista Bomb which finally allowed McMahon to cover for the 1..2..3.
After the bell Batista stood over Cena’s body and posed as a spotlight shone down from the top of the ramp.
Quite possibly the most bizarre climax to a show I’ve ever seen.
Vince McMahon wins by Pinfall.
