The Raw Review – 7th December 2009
07/12/2009
Hello and welcome the Live Raw Review.
Use the quick links below to jump to a specific match or segment.
If you’re following the event with us live keep refreshing as updates will come through sporadically depending on match and segment length.
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: Mark Who-Ban?
Match 1: John Cena Vs. Carlito
Segment 2: Legacy Make Demands
Match 2: Legacy Vs. Bourne & Primo
Match 4: Randy Orton Vs. Kofi Kingston
Match 5: The Miz Vs. Mark Henry
Match 6: Hornswoggle & Eve Vs. Jillian & Chavo
Main Event: Chris Jericho Vs. Triple H
The Raw Review
This week’s Raw Review is going to be a quick one I’m afraid, but I’ll explain why (and why it wasn’t live.)
The good news is that I got a job this week! A real-world, paying job!
The bad news is that I won’t have quite as long to dedicate to the site as I used to have, BUT that doesn’t mean we will be shutting down or anything like that.
We have a really strong team here at WWEBlog and I’m sure everyone will pitch in and pull together, should I need some help.
At the minute I don’t know how limited my time is going to be, but in order to make sure things stay as close to the way they are now as possible we will be looking to take on 1 or 2 extra staff members! If you want to know more or would like to apply check out the WWEBlog Jobs Page for details.
So the reason it wasn’t live is that I’d been celebrating a little too much and worn myself out, and the reason this will be a little shorter than usual is because I’m celebrating again tonight with my fiancé, as it’s our 3 year anniversary too.
I’ll try and squeeze in as much detail as possible, but no promises.
Anyway, on with the show!
Opening Segment
Mark Who-Ban?
Now I’m guessing if you live outside the states (as I do) you’ll probably never have heard of tonight’s guest host; Mark Cuban.
He did a small segment with Eric Bischoff and Orton in 2003 and despite what I said last week, I actually do remember him now he’s in the ring.
He starts by saying he’s going to get a little crazy tonight, then explains we’re going to have a showdown between Sheamus and John Cena, who is apparently his ‘main man’.
Despite everything I was told, it looks like Cuban is playing a face rather than a heelish character that he’d probably have been more suited to.
He then brings out Cena, who is apparently going to have a warm up match right here and now.
Match 1
Singles Match
John Cena
Vs.
Carlito
Carlito’s back in the ring! I wonder how long it’ll last this time.
Cuban takes a seat at ringside with the Bellas (who else) and a selection of the Dallas Mavericks as this match kicks off.
Carlito and Cena have had some good battles in the past, hopefully this one will be no exception.
Just as things were hotting up (and Cena was about to pick up the win) Sheamus’ music hit the speakers and the Celtic Warrior emerged at the top of the ramp.
Cuban jumped to his feet and blocked off the #1 contender, before a handful of security emerged and blocked the way.
Carlito momentarily took advantage of the distraction but Cena turned it around quickly and hit the Attitude Adjustment to pick up the win.
John Cena wins by Pinfall.
Segment 2
Legacy Make Demands
Randy Orton and his Legacy are next to hit the ring.
Orton says he respects Cuban for making a stand and showing authority, but he fully expects Cena and Sheamus to destroy each other later on in the showdown.
Orton says he doesn’t care who wins at TLC, because Cuban is going to lift his title shot ban here tonight and make him #1 contender regardless of who wins.
Cuban seems reluctant to do so and shakes his head.
Ted DiBiase tells him that he realises rich people have pride, but would like to remind him of what happened last time he was in the ring with Orton.
The clip I alluded to earlier gets played and shows Orton delivering an RKO on tonight’s guest host.
Cuban says that he isn’t going to do as Orton asks and the only reason he beat Kofi last week is because the WWE refs are worse than the NBA refs, and refused to stop the match after ‘the legends’ (I assume he means Legacy) jumped Kingston.
He tells Orton tonight he’s going to face the Ghanaian Sensation once more, and to make sure it goes down fairly he is going to officiate the match.
Rhodes tells him that just like his team, he’s all talk, then asks if he wouldn’t rather do something memorable in this arena, besides losing the playoffs.
Cody challenges him to a match and says if he wins Cuban has to lift Randy’s ban.
Cuban says they can talk about this again in June when the Mavericks win something or other (I don’t follow basketball), but for now Legacy have a match against Bourne and Primo.
Match 2
Tag Team Match
Legacy
Vs.
Evan Bourne & Primo
I spooled through this match, which looked very similar to the match they had on Superstars.
Legacy picked up the victory after some of the usual underhanded tactics, allowing DiBiase to hit the Dream Street.
After the match Cuban informed the ring announcer that Legacy would now be ejected from the American Airlines Centre.
A stream of security hit ringside again and led Rhodes and DiBiase up the ramp, to a chorus of goodbyes from the crowd.
In other news, next week’s Raw will host the 2009 Slammy Awards.
Legacy win by Pinfall.
Match 3
Divas Match
Maryse
Vs.
Gail Kim
Kelly Kelly announced this match for some reason or another.
I don’t get why they make Divas do stuff they can’t do like this, she’s not a ring announcer and judging on this performance she never will be.
As far as Diva matches go, on paper this should have been a real gem.
Unfortunately it all felt a little sloppy from both divas and only ran for a couple of minutes at most.
Maryse used the ropes to steal a win, then set her sights on Kelly Kelly when she refused to describe her as the next Divas Champion.
Kelly put up a brief fight but was about to get beaten down, until Melina showed up and ran her away.
Sign of the night appeared during this match and simply read : ‘Wooo, Puppies!’
Maryse wins by Pinfall.
Segment 3
A DX Christmas
Backstage HBK and Triple H are in the festive spirit, decorating a tree with their merchandise, including HBK’s cowboy hat at the top.
The Game says they are here to spread some festive cheer and HBK says the fans are probably expecting them to try and sell some of the DX merchandise, then after reeling off a huge list of their new products including scarves and slippers, say they aren’t going to do that as Christmas is all about giving.
Shawn says he’s got Triple H the new Smackdown Vs. Raw 2010 video game, but this gift backfires when Triple H explains that he too got a free copy.
Triple H brings in Shawn’s present, which turns out to be Hornswoggle in a box.
Hornswoggle grunts and Shawn explains that he said he has put together a new DX/Hornswoggle T-Shirt (it says Worlds Littlest Member on the back) which he’s putting on sale at all merchandise stands and doesn’t care if it’s illegal or not.
Triple H and HBK go off on a huge tangent regarding Star Wars, then decide the script they are delivering is awful, chewing out the script writer who was for some reason stood just off camera.
As they have been talking Hornswoggle has scaled the Christmas tree in an attempt to get HBK’s hat.
He vaults over the tree onto them and runs away with the hat as the segment ends.
DX promos really are getting worse, not to mention less and less relevant to the rivalries they are engaging in.
Match 4
Singles Match
Randy Orton
Vs.
Kofi Kingston
Special Referee: Mark Cuban
I’d be very surprised if this pans out to be an actual match.
The reason being I fully expect them to save Orton and Kingston’s first proper meeting for a PPV event.
Kingston starts strongly but Orton soon closes him down and begins to dominate, turning his attention to Cuban at every given oppertunity.
Kofi again mounts some offence but Orton avoids the Trouble in Paradise and hits his trademark Backbreaker.
He stalks Kingston and goes for the RKO, but Kingston reverses into a Backslide which Cuban counted incredibly fast, gifting Kofi the win.
Looks like these guys are 1-1 now, and neither result has been what you would call decisive.
Cuban says that he’s been waiting for 6 years to gain revenge over Orton and now he has.
He books the ‘deciding’ bout for TLC, making Kofi Vs. Randy a late addition to the card.
Kofi Kingston wins by Pinfall.
Match 5
United States Championship Match
The Miz (c)
Vs.
Mark Henry
I really didn’t want this rivalry to happen. Like seriously didn’t want to see it.
But it looks like it’s happening, for tonight at least.
Henry and Miz last week was nothing special, and although this one was slightly better, it still wasn’t on par with the matches Miz has been having lately against the likes of John Morrison, Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger.
The match almost ended in a carbon copy of last week, with Miz flying off the top rope and being caught in the Worlds Strongest Slam position.
However, as he went to deliver the finishing move The Miz reversed it into a Swinging DDT to pick up what seemed like an unlikely victory.
The Miz retains the United States Championship by Pinfall.
Match 6
Mixed Tag Team Match
Hornswoggle & Eve
Vs.
Jillian Hall & Chavo Guerrero
Things just took a huge turn for the worse.
Just when it looked like Chavo had been freed of his own personal Leprechaun hell, this match pops up.
This match got the full on fast forward treatment, but Eve and Hornswoggle won.
Before this match Chris Masters had been shown chatting with Cuban at ringside, and as Chavo closed in on a scared Hornswoggle after the bell he jumped into the ring and came to the little guy’s aid.
Chavo told Masters to back off and poked him in one of his dancing pecs, prompting The Masterpiece to deliver a Masterlock Slam.
Masters then checked on Hornswoggle and Eve, before leaving with her while Hornswoggle attempted a pec dance of his own in the ring.
Hornswoggle & Eve win by Pinfall.
Main Event Match
Handicap Match
Chris Jericho
Vs.
DX
As Jericho entered the ring a sea of ‘Jericho Sucks’ signs appeared behind him. Seriously, there must have been about 20 or 30.
Jericho told the crowd he doesn’t suck because he is the 2008 Superstar of the Year, and next week he will surely re-claim the award for 2009, along with a host of other ones.
He says that he is bigger than Raw and Smackdown, so it makes sense that he is allowed on both shows and this certainly won’t be his last appearance on the red brand.
After going on about how he is going to defeat DX at TLC, he says the hypocrites in the crowd will have a new catchphrase come next week; ‘Never Underestimate Chris Jericho’.
I don’t think it’s going to catch on.
Show appears to be completely absent thus far tonight, although whether he will show up during this match is anyone’s guess.
Ref Bump! I guess that answers our question.
Show lumbers down the ramp and attacks HBK, effectively taking him out until Triple H grabs a steel chair and drives it into the giants back.
However, this just angers him and he punches the chair back into The Game’s face.
HBK grabs a ladder, but tastes it as Jericho delivers a Baseball slide. Show picks it up and takes out both members of DX with baseball-like swings, before sandwiching them between the rungs.
Jericho grabs the title belts and screams ‘never’ over and over, before ascending the ladder and standing at the top with the gold in his hands.
A pretty dominant statement from Jeri-Show.
Match ends in a No Contest.
Closing Segment
The Showdown
The ring is kitted out with a podium and two tables when the action returns from commercials.
Cuban brings both men down to the ring individually and they take their seats either side of him.
He explains that he is going to ask 3 questions, and each participant will be given the chance to answer. They can say anything they like, with no answer being off limits.
He first asks Sheamus why he thinks he will win this Sunday.
Sheamus says it took Cena three years to win his first World Title, but it’ll only take the Celtic Warrior mere weeks to do the same.
He says that he’s never lost and he’s become obsessed with the sound of Cena’s body crashing through a table, something he’ll hear again this Sunday.
The same question gets thrown across to Cena, who says he has no comment.
Next Sheamus is asked if he’s worried about being in a dangerous match type.
He says that Cena clearly isn’t concerned enough with the match type, as he claimed he is going to cash in his re-match directly after losing, if he does lose.
Sheamus says Cena will be in no fit state to fight a re-match, and this Sunday he is not only going to lose his title, but he’s going to lose his fitness, his sanity, his career, in short; Everything.
Again Cena refuses to comment.
Finally Cuban asks if there is anything they would like to say directly to each other.
Sheamus starts to talk but Cena cuts him off and says he has a question for his opponent.
After reminiscing about his 7 year tenure in the WWE Cena asks Sheamus what makes him different from everyone else that has tried to take his title and end his career in that space of time.
Cena tells Sheamus that at TLC he better back up what he’s said, otherwise he is going to make him a footnote in WWE history, admitting that the Celtic Warrior impresses him, but doesn’t for one second intimidate him.
Between the pair of them they strip the ring, then just as it looks like they are going to go, Sheamus pushes Cuban to the ground, then hits Cena with a Pump Kick during the distraction.
Sheamus sets up a table in the corner of the ring and hits a second Pump Kick to Cena. Man they are really building him up as a contender here.
Cuban drags himself to his feet using the ropes, then squares up to Sheamus.
After a stand off Cuban pushes Sheamus to the floor, sending the #1 contender into a state of shock, then anger.
As a Cuban chant broke out in the crowd Sheamus attacked the Guest Host and drilled him through the table.
After some more posing a few of the Mavericks jumped the guard rail, but it was too little, too late as Sheamus exited up the ramp shouting about being the next WWE Champion ‘fella’.
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