The Raw Review – 6th February 2012
06/02/2012
Hello and welcome to The Raw Review.
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Quick Links
Match 1: The Big Show Vs. Daniel Bryan
Segment 2: Oh Joy, It’s NASCAR
Match 2: Sheamus Vs. David Otunga
Match 3: Orton & Khali Vs. Rhodes & Barrett
Match 4: 8 Diva Tag Team Match
Main Event: Six Pack Challenge Match
The Raw Review
Segment 1
Will He? Won’t He?
Hello WWEBlog followers and welcome to Raw!
Tonight’s show begins with a video package showing The Undertaker’s return last week, then after a hot opening (pyros etc which apparently we don’t see as much these days due to cost-cutting measures. Remember when Raw would start with a mini 4th of July every week?) Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole inform us tonight’s Main Event will be a Six Pack Challenge to decide who enters the Raw Elimination Chamber last.
Now as much as I love Six Pack Challenges, I’m not too keen on the whole entry order of the Chamber being pre-decided. To the best of my knowledge it’s always been a random thing in the past, which added an element of surprise to the bout in my opinion.
Anyway, we’ll also see The Big Show and Daniel Bryan square off tonight in the opener, which seems odd given the end of Smackdown seemed entirely focused on how Bryan wanted to avoid the giant at all costs.
Before that match kicks off though it seems the C.O.O has something he wants to get off his chest.
Once in the ring Triple H says he first wants to address some rumours surrounding his presence on the show last week, which he believes were started by John Laurinaitis.
He cuts to the quick and says in no uncertain terms that he was in the ring to fire John Laurinaitis and wish him well in all his future endeavors.
Trips said that while he didn’t quite get round to it, he finds Laurinaitis to be a lying, manipulative weasel with no redeeming features and he hopes the Board of Directors see that too.
Apparently they are convening on the matter and could come up with a decision as soon as tomorrow morning.
However, that isn’t the reason Triple H is out here tonight. Obviously he’s out to address The Undertaker’s reappearance.
He talked about how the last time he was seen The Deadman was flat on his back being carted out of WrestleMania on a stretcher. He explained that after 20 years in the business The Undertaker’s entrance still sends chills up his spine, and he’s the only man he feels completely humbled to be in the ring with.
Trips alluded to how last week mirrored last year, when he interrupted Taker.
But apparently, last week when he looked at Taker, for the first time he didn’t feel humbled to stand in front of him, as he looked him in the eyes and felt nothing but pity.
He said he chooses to remember The Undertaker in a different light, then aired a video package showing some of Taker’s most dominant moments.
Trips then said he didn’t want to remember The Deadman like ‘this’, playing another package showing his rival unable to stand after their match at last year’s Mania.
Admitting Taker was the most dominant force ever in the WWE, Triple H told the hushed crowd and The Deadman himself, that out of respect he declines a match at this year’s WrestleMania event.
Triple H claimed that after last year’s bout, if they met again he would have to ‘put an end’ to The Undertaker once and for all, claiming that Taker knows that also, and perhaps it’s what he wants.
Wrapping up, The Game said he realised The Deadman’s limits and he wouldn’t be the man to push him past them, so ‘this’ (pointing to the WrestleMania sign) is over.
As he went to exit the ring though, his music cut and seconds later so did the lights.
On the titantron a video of The Deadman sitting on a throne, watching last year’s Mania match began to play.
Over the top of the VT, Taker’s voice echoed. He said he wouldn’t let the image of him unable to walk be the lasting memory of his legacy, then offered Triple H one more shot at immortality in exchange for a shot at vengeance.
Taker finished with 3 words ‘This Isn’t Over’.
Match 1
Singles Match
The Big Show
Vs.
Daniel Bryan
Despite claiming at the conclusion of Smackdown that A.J was completely terrified of The Big Show, Daniel Bryan practically ordered his girlfriend to come and stand in his corner for this match.
Hearing Cole toss abuse at an out and out heel doesn’t sit right, I’m surprised he hasn’t claimed some sort of epiphany by now and began to sing the World Champs’s praises.
On a completely separate note, it seems TNA have decided the best time for them to advertise their UK dates is during Raw’s commercial breaks.
I’m not sure that’s the best marketing strategy, isn’t it kinda like trying to sell someone a piece of unseasoned grilled chicken while they tuck into a bargain bucket from KFC?
Meanwhile back in the ring, I wasn’t too sure what Bryan and Show could do that we hadn’t seen already, and it seemed the answer was practically nothing.
Following commercials the bout spilled to the outside, and as Show lumbered towards Bryan he moved out of the way.
Show managed to stop himself just before colliding with A.J, at which point she and Bryan headed up the ramp.
Show won by count-out, but Bryan interrupted the announcement.
He said Show had just proven that he steamrollered A.J on purpose a few weeks ago, as he could have pulled up just as he did tonight.
Bryan said protecting ‘the girl who loves him’ was far more important than the World Heavyweight Championship, then blathered on about retaining the title at Elimination Chamber and still being a vegan.
Groundbreaking, eh?
The Big Show wins by Count Out.
Segment 2
Oh Joy, It’s NASCAR
Following commercials we’re shown Carl Edwards doing donuts in a huge, suspiciously empty parking lot.
He then careened into the arena and pulled up alongside John Cena.
After some bromance, Carl explained that NASCAR want Cena to start the Daytona 500 in 3 weeks time.
Oh, and this all happened last week.
Talk about your completely pointless segments.
Following a promo for Elimination Chamber and some more commercials David Otunga had made his way to the ring.
Sporting a bigger coffee cup than ever, he said that he’d never had a boss that was more insightful, creative or as intelligent as Mr. Laurinaitis.
He said he would pray the board kept him on as G.M, and invited the whole arena to pray with him, replicating Tim Tebow in the centre of the ring.
After a minute or so Justin Roberts chimed in and said that by order of the C.O.O, Otunga would have to participate right now… against Sheamus.
Match 2
Singles Match
David Otunga
Vs.
Sheamus
Didn’t Otunga used to be like at least a semi-competent wrestler?
Yet now he’s jobbing to Sheamus?
He had all of 20 seconds offense here before the Rumble Winner flattened him with a Pump Kick for the 3.
Oh well, at least he was trending worldwide on Twitter.
Sheamus wins by Pinfall.
Segment 3
Jeri-Trolling?
So is Jericho planning on keeping up his silent routine? I guess we’re about to find out as he’s in the ring and apparently going to explain why he attacked Punk last week.
And he’s actually speaking!
Jericho said that the end of the world as we know it has arrived, as his reappearance on Raw has signaled the end of theivery, plagiarism, charlotans and liars claiming to be something they are not.
He claimed his comeback has made every other Superstar on Raw obsolete, because every man and woman that appears in the ring are just Chris Jericho wannabes, stealing his ideas and thoughts.
Jericho wasted no time insulting the fans either, also terming them Chris Jericho wannabes, pointing them out one by one.
He smugly pointed out that he trolled everyone, and had them eating out of the palm of his hand without even saying a single word.
Jericho said that before The Miz walked out to the ring in a suit and began talking very slowly, he did it first.
Before Kofi Kingston came and did incredible moves, he did things in the ring people had never seen before.
Before R-Truth said ‘What’s Up’, he said ‘Shut the hell up’.
Before Dolph Ziggler walked to the ring with Vickie Guerrero, he walked to the main event of WrestleMania XVIII with Stephanie McMahon.
And then there’s C.M Punk, the worst of them all.
Jericho called Punk a barefaced liar, calling him out over the Best in the World line and saying he didn’t have to write it on the back of the t-shirt to prove it.
Jericho said he proved it when he became the first Undisputed Champion, when he won every conceivable title in the WWE and when he eliminated 28 other men in the Royal Rumble.
So the end of the world is coming, because he’s back to claim what is rightfully his.
Cult of Personality hit the speakers and C.M Punk emerged, sporting a T-Shirt with ‘that’ slogan on the back.
Punk hit the ring, brought a microphone to his lips… then dropped it, holding the WWE Championship aloft instead.
He turned to walk away, pausing so Jericho could get a good look at the slogan on the back of his shirt.
Jericho chastised him for saying nothing, calling him wannabe as he left to the back.
Match 3
Tag Team Match
Randy Orton & The Great Khali
Vs.
Cody Rhodes & Wade Barrett
Wow, this is going to be a classic, huh?
They may as well have just thrown Orton into a handicap match.
Don’t get me wrong, I like Khali in movies. He’s enormous and that’s enough to land him parts in films, because all he has to do is stand there and look huge.
But how can the WWE justify putting a guy who can barely WALK in the title picture?
I’m not exaggerating either, Khali can barely WALK, never mind anything else.
He can deliver a Chop I guess, but he can’t take anything more physical than a punch without it looking labored for all involved.
And now we’re supposed to believe he’s one of the top 6 guys Smackdown has to offer?
They may as well have put Drew McIntyre in there. Hell, even Tyson Kidd or someone would have been more interesting.
As expected Orton did the lions share of the work in this one, with he and Khali kind of one-upping each other in terms of stiff tags.
Just as Orton set up for the RKO, Khali tagged himself in.
Rhodes seemed to take advantage of the distraction, but as he came off the ropes with a Beautiful Disaster Khali caught him with a Chop to score the 3.
Rhodes and Barrett got a bit jobbed out here.
After the bell Orton got in Khali’s face, claiming it should have been his win.
Khali locked his massive hand around Orton’s throat, tossing him into the ropes so he could hit a Chop.
However, Orton ducked it and hit the RKO.
To his credit, Khali sold it quite well, but then it was just falling over on your face.
Apparently Cena and Rock are engaged in a Twitter war that we should all check out.
Here’s an idea WWE, how about if something’s incredibly relevant you WRITE IT AND PUT IT OUT ON YOUR SHOW, rather than filling your card with garbage like Natalya farting, while expecting us to watch umpteen videos on Youtube and sit on social media sites waiting for something to develop?
Randy Orton & The Great Khali win by Pinfall.
Match 4
8-Diva Tag Team Match
Eve, Tamina, Alicia Fox & Kelly Kelly
Vs.
The Bellas, Natalya & Beth Phoenix
During Team Beth’s entrance a Double Feature played. Beth said she was getting bored because she was dominating, and that was why she’d end up being Divas Champion forever.
Beth continued her ‘commanding’ role during this bout, ordering the rest of her team around.
It didn’t work though, as Tamina picked up the win over one of The Bellas with a Superfly Splash.
The Rock is apparently going to be on the Jay Leno show tonight, and we’re treated to a clip of it.
What’s with pushing the Rock/Cena rivalry EVERYWHERE other than actually on WWE programming?
Eve, Tamina, Alicia Fox & Kelly Kelly win by Pinfall.
Segment 4
Here’s Johnny!
Backstage Triple H is on his cell speaking about John Laurinaitis, when the man himself appears.
Trips hangs up and refuses to shake Laurinaitis’ hand.
John says he’s shown up as for now he’s still in charge of Talent Relations, and after meeting with the board he’s confident they’ll do the right thing, so whatever their decision he’ll accept it.
Like a child trying to win over one of the ‘cool’ kids, Laurinaitis then told Triple H that Shawn Michaels will be on Raw next week.
Trips claimed that HBK was in the middle of nowhere right now on a hunting trip, but Laurinaitis said he’d suggested it to the Board of Directors and they’ve cleared it.
They’ve also cleared Cena Vs. Kane at Elimination Chamber in an Ambulance match.
Triple H conceded that was a good idea (I’m not so sure) then asked where he’d got it from.
The Game hurled a few more insults at the former G.M, then told him to get out of his office.
Following commercials Josh Mathews caught up with Laurinaitis to ask him what he thought the Board of Directors would decide.
Laurinaitis said he’d admitted his mistakes and thought the board wanted someone who could learn from what he’d done wrong, rather than a hot head, or a coward like Triple H (alluding to him turning down The Undertaker’s challenge.)
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Main Event Match
Six Pack Challenge Match
C.M Punk
Vs.
R-Truth
Vs.
Chris Jericho
Vs.
The Miz
Vs.
Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero)
Vs.
Kofi Kingston
This isn’t a Six Pack Challenge in the truest sense of the word, in as much as it isn’t the same as the original that took place at Unforgiven 99.
In the first instance 4 of the 6 competitors would stand on the apron, and only be legal to participate/win if they were at some point tagged in.
This added a tactical element, as while standing on the apron wouldn’t win you the match, being an active competitor all the way through the bout wasn’t advisable either.
So it came down to knowing when you HAD to tag in/out in order to stay fresh.
This is basically a glorified 6-Man Battle Royal. First to score a pin or submission heads into Elimination Chamber in the driving seat.
Aside from that, this bout became a 5-Pack Challenge fairly quickly, as R-Truth catapulted himself over the ropes and almost entirely missed The Miz, slamming his head onto the mats and ending his participation on doctors orders.
I’d never rule out something as part of a storyline, but it seemed pretty legit and I’d say there’s a slim chance he might even be out of the Elimination Chamber match if he really has hurt himself.
Obviously at one point in the match Punk and Jericho were the only two men standing and therefore had a little face-off.
Miz and Ziggler recovered to spoil the party before a single blow was landed though, preserving what will likely be a showpiece match at Mania.
Ziggler, Punk, Jericho and Miz carried the match for a while, with Kofi periodically taking a beating and playing possum on the outside, presumably as he was supposed to pair off with Truth during this period of the match.
Kingston then hit Trouble in Paradise on The Miz, and it was his turn to spend some time on the outside, along with Punk and Ziggler, allowing Kingston and Jericho to put on some pretty decent wrestling in the ring.
Jericho blocked Trouble in Paradise and locked in the Walls of Jericho, but Punk made the save and sent Jericho to the outside, prompting a brief spell between the champ and Ziggler.
Punk hit the GTS, but before the refs hand could come down for the 3 Jericho pulled him out of the ring, tossed him over the announce table and covered the fallen Ziggler for the 1..2..3!
Jericho has the upper hand when we head to Elimination Chamber in a few short weeks.
Jericho then posed with the WWE Championship, sitting cross-legged in the ring to mock C.M Punk.
Hysterical girly crying began ringing through the arena, and Kane appeared on the titantron, penning Eve in somewhere in the back.
He told Eve he was afraid for her, and anyone else that gets in his path, because if Cena doesn’t embrace hate soon he doesn’t know what he’ll do to her.
As the show ended Kane said for the very first time he was afraid for himself.
Chris Jericho wins by Pinfall.
The
®AW
Material
®
Triple H declined to face The Undertaker at WrestleMania.
®
Chris Jericho called the entire WWE Locker room ‘Wannabes’ and called out C.M Punk, who simply held his title aloft in defiance.
®
Shawn Michaels will be on Raw next week, and John Laurinaitis will find out if he’s fired tomorrow morning.
®
Chris Jericho won the right to enter the Elimination Chamber as the final participant.
®
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