The Raw Review – 5th April 2010
05/04/2010
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On with the show!
Quick Links
Opening Segment: Mr. Money in the Bank
Match 1: Kofi Kingston Vs. Sheamus
Match 2: Divas Red Carpet Battle Royal
Match 3 : ShowMiz Vs. Cena & Batista
Match 4: Ted DiBiase Vs. Christian
Match 5: Randy Orton Vs. Jack Swagger
Main Event Match: ShowMiz Vs. John Cena & David Otunga
The Raw Review
Opening Segment
Mr. Money in the Bank
The brand-spanking NEW World Heavyweight Champion; Jack Swagger kicks us off on Raw tonight.
It seems that the brand extension has no meaning any more, which is probably why we’ve not heard anything about a 2010 draft just yet.
I’m assuming Swagger is still a Raw Superstar, which means Smackdown is currently without a champion.
Anyway, after showing a clip of his victorious ‘cash in’ last week on Smackdown, Swagger dives straight into one of his ‘State of the Championship’ addresses.
Seriously? This is the gimmick they are going for? It’s awful.
Swagger explains that while he had originally considered taking Cena’s WWE Championship, in the end he decided to prove how good he is by taking the title from someone who claims to be the best in the world at what he does.
Swagger announces (much to the dismay of the Raw crowd…) that as the new World Heavyweight Champion, he now has to give his services exclusively to Smackdown, but it’s probably for the best as no one on Raw has what it takes to challenge him.
John Cena hits the ring after this statement, congratulating him for ‘getting lucky’.
He tells Swagger that as a champion the crowd don’t want to hear what he’s done, they want to see what he’s going to do.
He calls Swagger a liar and claims that he’s not championship material, because he hasn’t really earned his World Title.
Finally he challenges him to one final match on Raw, offering to put the WWE Championship on the line if he accepts.
Swagger begins to explain why that doesn’t work for him tonight when Randy Orton’s music hits and the Viper makes his way to the ring.
Orton says he’s sure Swagger would want to face him tonight as he beat him last week, but before Swagger can answer ShowMiz emerge from behind the curtain.
Miz takes a pop at Cena and Orton, saying it’s typical that he would come out early in the show and try to steal the spotlight, but the fact is that the show isn’t about either of them, or Swagger, it’s about ShowMiz.
However, before The Miz can finish claiming that he’s awesome, the NXT music hits and tonight’s Guest Host David Otunga hits the top of the ramp with RAW shaved into his head (it looked bad, like a kid had done it.)
Otunga says that tonight’s show is going to be A-List all round, so Swagger will face Orton and ShowMiz will defend the Unified Tag Team titles against Batista and John Cena.
Odd announcement, no doubt Batista and Cena will explode.
As Cena focused on ShowMiz Orton tried to strike with an RKO, but Cena pushed him right into Swagger, who tasted it instead.
Match 1
Singles Match
Kofi Kingston
Vs.
Sheamus
Any bets on how long it takes Triple H to show up?
Strong start from Sheamus, who opens with a brutal Swinging Backbreaker which looked like it injured his knee as much as it hurt Kofi’s back.
Kofi mounted a short come-back, but as I expected it was the Celtic Warrior who came away with the victory after a Celtic Cross.
After the match Sheamus grabbed a lead pipe from under the ring and wrapped it around the back of Kofi’s head as he struggled to pull himself to his feet.
Just before the show cut to commercials Triple H appeared on the titan-tron, making his way through the back and to the ring.
Sheamus wins by Pinfall.
Segment 2
Hammer Fight
Following the commercials Sheamus is still standing in the ring, alone.
He rambled on about how Triple H embarrassed himself last week by crying at his friends departure, how HBK quit before he had chance to take him out and how Triple H should also retire if he knows what’s good for him.
He said that as Triple H had taken away his chance at a WrestleMania moment, he took away Triple H’s chance to say a proper goodbye to his friend.
After Sheamus called him out The Game emerged from the back in street clothes, pausing in front of the ring before slowly making his way up onto the apron where Sheamus waited with the lead pipe still in hand.
Triple H assessed the situation then hopped back down off the apron. But rather than walk away, he grabbed a Sledgehammer from under the ring skirt and used it to knock his rival to the outside.
After narrowly avoiding the metal crashing down on his head, Sheamus fled through the crowd.
Triple H ended the segment by saying Sheamus was typical of a silly Irishman, for bringing a pipe to a Sledgehammer fight.
Match 2
Divas Red Carpet Dress to Impress Battle Royal
Participants:
Rosa Mendes
Gail Kim
Eve
Kelly Kelly
Jillian Hall
Alicia Fox
Katie Lea Burchill
Nikki Bella
Brie Bella
So the winner of this gets a title match against Maryse (who joined the commentary team) next week when Raw comes from London, England!
Also, you might be interested to know that in a Divas Battle Royal you can be eliminated by going through the ropes as well as over the top of them.
Order of Elimination:
- Rosa Mendes eliminated by The Bella Twins
- Brie Bella eliminated by Alicia Fox
- Nikki Bella eliminated by Alicia Fox
- Gail Kim eliminated by Kelly Kelly
- Katie Lea eliminated by Kelly Kelly
- Kelly Kelly eliminated by Jillian Hall
- Alicia Fox eliminated by Eve
- Jillian Hall eliminated by Eve
Awful Divas action as per usual.
Once Kelly Kelly got eliminated at 6, it became a 1 horse race and a guaranteed victory for Eve (and no doubt a guaranteed victory for Maryse next week.)
I usually love Battle Royals, this I didn’t like.
Eve wins and becomes #1 contender for the WWE Divas Championship.
Segment 3
Otunga’s Entourage
Backstage David Otunga and his pals are talking about how good he is when Santino enters and asks where The A Team are.
Otunga tells him that Mr. T isn’t coming, to which Santino replies that he pity’s the fool who tells him that.
Hornswoggle makes an appearance next, eating Otunga’s specially requested 428 green M&M’s. Otunga sends his friends after the little guy, but he escapes and leads them off down the corridor.
Santino quips that he loves it when a plan comes together.
Match 3
Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match
ShowMiz (c)
Vs.
John Cena & Batista
Well, last time Cena and Batista created an impromptu tag team together they ended up leaving with the gold, despite being scheduled to face each other at the next big PPV; Summerslam.
Surely something similar isn’t going to happen tonight.
After about 5 minutes Cena attempted to make the tag, only for Batista to jump down off the apron and head up the ramp.
Cena went after him and the two punched it out at the top of the ramp for a little while, until the referee counted them out.
With Batista missing David Otunga emerged from the back and told ShowMiz they would defend their titles AGAIN later in the night against Cena and his new partner… David Otunga.
ShowMiz retain the Unified Tag Team Championships by Count Out.
Match 4
Singles Match
Ted DiBiase
Vs.
Christian
DiBiase emerged from the back with the Million Dollar Championship draped over his shoulder.
Once in the ring DiBiase talked about how his fathers induction into the Hall of Fame must have had a profound effect on him, because last week for the first time ever he actually tried to act like a father.
He said that one act of random kindness didn’t make up for all the years of missed baseball games, birthday parties, graduation etc.
Ted says his father has been able to win him over by giving him the Million Dollar Championship, and that it’s good to be ‘The Fortunate Son’.
Not quite sure where they are going with all of this, unless Bret DiBiase is just about ready to début properly and battle his brother.
Since returning to the WWE Christian’s gimmick has pretty much been ‘ECW Champion’. Now he doesn’t have that I’m struggling to see any direction for him, and the sooner he gets something the better as far as I’m concerned.
I like both the guys in this match, and it wasn’t a bad one, but both of them run the risk of fading into obscurity if they don’t get a good push/storyline soon.
DiBiase finally picked up a win, his first since before WrestleMania, by hitting Christian with Dream Street.
Looks like I tempted fate earlier on by mentioning the Draft. It’s going to take place during a special 3 hour Raw on the 26th April.
Ted DiBiase wins by Pinfall.
Match 5
Singles Match
Randy Orton
Vs.
Jack Swagger
When Swagger got drafted to Raw I expected big things of him.
I think I probably said something similar in one of the following show write ups (although I haven’t got time to go back and check), but now it’s actually happening, I’m finding it hard to see him as a main eventer, let alone World Heavyweight Champion.
I think I’d warm to him slightly more if he had a stronger gimmick. Yes, I know he’s a VERY accomplished All American amateur wrestler, but there’s no doubt the WWE has seen more accomplished amateurs that have turned pro with far more personality (Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar to name a couple.)
The whole State of the Title Address thing is poor at best and if they keep running with it I can’t see the fans even caring about him in a few weeks time.
This match didn’t help Swagger’s credibility either, as Orton had all the high points in the match and eventually picked up a 2nd win in as many weeks over the youngster with a RKO.
Randy Orton wins by Pinfall.
Main Event Match
Unified Tag Team Championship Match
ShowMiz (c)
Vs.
John Cena & David Otunga
David Otunga’s hair is laughable, it really is.
I have trouble drawing stick men, but I’m pretty sure I could draw a better Raw logo than that, so I’m sure someone could have shaved it onto his head better too.
ShowMiz took control of the match after some ‘behind the refs back’ interference from Show, allowing them to isolate Cena and make a succession of quick tags and underhanded attacks.
It’s obvious that there are a few ‘favourites’ on NXT, but after this kind of exposure it’s hard to look past Otunga, even with Daniel Bryan getting the lions share of the fans approval during the weekly shows.
The result of this contest was never in any real doubt, because putting the titles on Cena and Otunga would just confuse things too much.
However, the way in which it happened was kind of surprising, although I kind of saw it coming.
As Cena desperately went for the tag Otunga ‘pulled a Batista’ and jumped from the apron, letting Show hit the Knockout Punch for the 1..2..3.
After the bell Batista strolled to the ring and Otunga told the crowd he had a big announcement.
Crouching over Cena under a spotlight Batista informed everyone that he was invoking his re-match clause at Extreme Rules, in a Last Man Standing Match.
ShowMiz retain the Unified Tag Team Championships by Pinfall.
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